txheem
Txhua leej txhua tus sib ntaus thiab npau taws qee zaum. Tab sis nws muaj peev xwm ua tau nyuaj rau dais tantrums thiab outbursts ntawm npau taws ntawm lwm tus neeg, vim hais tias peb feem ntau tsis to taub yuav ua li cas teb rau qhov kev npau taws no. Tus kws kho mob puas siab puas ntsws Aaron Carmine piav qhia vim li cas sim ua kom tus neeg npau taws tsuas yog ntxiv roj rau hluav taws.
Peb ua qhov zoo tshaj plaws ntawm kev xav thaum peb sim ua kom dhau mus rau tus neeg npau taws. Tab sis feem ntau tsis yog, tsis muaj kev sib cav, los yog sim luag nws, tsis tshua muaj kev hem thawj, pab daws qhov teeb meem thiab tsuas yog ua rau muaj kev tsis sib haum xeeb. Peb tsis tau kawm txog yuav ua li cas daws cov teeb meem ntawm kev xav, yog li peb ua yuam kev. Peb ua dabtsi?
1. Peb ua pov thawj peb qhov dawb huv
"Honestly, kuv tsis tau ua nws!" Cov lus zoo li no ua rau peb xav tias peb tab tom hu tus neeg sib tw ua tus neeg dag thiab nyob rau hauv lub siab rau kev sib cav. Nws tsis zoo li qhov no yuav pab ua kom tus neeg sib tham. Qhov teeb meem tsis yog leej twg ua txhaum lossis tsis muaj txim. Peb tsis yog neeg txhaum, thiab peb tsis tas yuav ua kom peb tus kheej ncaj ncees. Qhov teeb meem yog tias tus interlocutor npau taws, thiab qhov kev npau taws no ua rau nws mob. Peb lub luag haujlwm yog txhawm rau txo nws, tsis ua rau nws hnyav dua los ntawm kev tsim kev tsis sib haum xeeb.
2. Sim xaj
“Darling, rub koj tus kheej ua ke. Ua ke! Nres tam sim ntawd!” Nws tsis xav ua raws li cov lus txib - nws xav tswj hwm lwm tus nws tus kheej. Nws yog qhov zoo dua los tsom rau kev tswj tus kheej. Nws mob thiab phem tsis yog rau nws xwb. Tsuas yog peb tus kheej tuaj yeem tiv thaiv nws kom tsis txhob muaj teeb meem rau peb.
3. Sim twv seb yav tom ntej
Peb lub neej tam sim no raug tswj hwm los ntawm lwm tus, thiab peb tab tom sim daws qhov teeb meem tsis zoo no los ntawm kev khiav mus rau yav tom ntej. Peb los nrog kev xav txog kev daws teeb meem: "Yog tias koj tsis nres tam sim ntawd, koj yuav muaj teeb meem," "Kuv yuav tso koj," "Kuv yuav hu rau tub ceev xwm." Ib tug neeg yuav raug pom zoo xws li cov lus hais tias yog kev hem, kev thuam, lossis kev sim los them nyiaj rau peb qhov kev xav ntawm peb tus kheej tsis muaj hwj chim. Nws yuav tsis qhuas, nws yuav ua rau nws mob ntxiv. Zoo nyob rau tam sim no.
4. Peb sim tso siab rau cov laj thawj
Feem ntau peb ua yuam kev ntawm kev sim nrhiav kev daws teeb meem rau kev xav: "Darling, tsim nyog, ua tib zoo xav." Peb yuam kev, vam tias leej twg tuaj yeem yaum tau yog tias muaj kev sib cav sib ceg. Yog li ntawd, peb tsuas nkim sijhawm rau cov lus piav qhia uas yuav tsis muaj txiaj ntsig. Peb tsis tuaj yeem cuam tshuam nws txoj kev xav nrog peb txoj kev xav.
5. Kev nkag siab
Nws yog qhov tsis muaj txiaj ntsig los sim ntxias tus neeg npau taws kom nkag siab qhov xwm txheej thiab paub txog lawv qhov yuam kev. Tam sim no nws perceives qhov no yog ib tug sim manipulate nws thiab subjugate nws raws li peb lub siab nyiam, los yog ua rau nws tsis ncaj ncees lawm, txawm hais tias nws "paub" tias nws yog "yog", los yog tsuas yog ua rau nws zoo li ib tug neeg ruam.
6. Tsis kam lees nws txoj cai npau taws
"Koj tsis muaj cai chim rau kuv tom qab txhua yam kuv tau ua rau koj." Kev npau taws tsis yog "txoj cai", nws yog kev xav. Yog li ntawd, qhov kev sib cav no yog absurd. Tsis tas li ntawd, depriving ib tug neeg ntawm txoj cai npau taws, koj li devalue nws. Nws coj nws mus rau lub siab, koj ua rau nws.
Tsis txhob hnov qab tias qhov laj thawj me me rau qhov tawg, zoo li "Koj khob kuv lub khob!", feem ntau yuav yog vim li cas nyob rau saum npoo. Thiab hauv qab nws yog ib tug tag nrho hiav txwv ntawm accumulated npau taws, uas rau ib tug ntev lub sij hawm tsis tau muab ib tug qhov hluav taws xob. Yog li ntawd, koj yuav tsum tsis txhob sim ua pov thawj tias koj tus interlocutor raug liam tias npau taws vim tsis muaj tseeb.
7. Sim ua kom lom zem
"Koj lub ntsej muag tig liab, funny heev." Nws tsis muaj dab tsi los txo qhov kev npau taws heev. Koj thuam tus neeg ntawd, yog li ntawd qhia tias koj tsis ua rau nws npau taws heev. Cov kev xav no ua rau nws mob hnyav heev, thiab tseem ceeb heev rau nws yuav tsum tau ua tib zoo saib xyuas. Tsis txhob tua hluav taws nrog roj av. Qee zaum kev lom zem pab ua kom lub siab xav, tab sis tsis yog nyob rau hauv qhov xwm txheej no.