txheem
Nco ntsoov lo lus paj lug: "Qhia rau kuv tias koj tus phooj ywg yog leej twg, thiab kuv mam li qhia koj tias koj yog leej twg"? Peb thov kom hloov nws me ntsis: "Qhia rau kuv tias koj tus phooj ywg yog leej twg, thiab peb yuav qhia rau koj yog tias koj yuav tsum txuas lus nrog nws mus ntxiv." Tom qab tag nrho, cov phooj ywg phem tsis yog tsuas yog cov neeg ntxeev siab, cov neeg dag thiab ntxias. Peb qhia rau koj tias leej twg yuav tsum tau ua tib zoo saib.
University of Kansas xib fwb Dr. Jeffrey Hall tau ua ib qho kev kawm txaus siab kom paub seb nws yuav siv sij hawm pes tsawg teev los ua ib tug phooj ywg. Raws li qhov tshwm sim, nws tau pom tias peb dhau los ua "cov phooj ywg" hauv 50 teev, "cov phooj ywg zoo" hauv 120-160 teev, thiab "cov phooj ywg zoo" hauv 200 teev siv ua ke.
Nws hloov tawm hais tias kev ntxiv dag zog rau cov phooj ywg kev sib raug zoo yuav siv sij hawm tsis yog li ntawd me ntsis, nws yuav tsum tau muaj zog thiab lub siab lub ntsws peev. Tab sis tag nrho cov "kev nqis peev" no ntau dua li them nyiaj: rov qab los, peb tau txais kev zoo siab, kev nplij siab, kev zoo siab ntawm kev paub lwm tus.
Tab sis ua ntej koj "siv" nyob rau hauv kev sib raug zoo nrog lwm tus neeg, koj yuav tsum xyuas kom meej tias nws tsim nyog nws. Muaj cov neeg uas koj twv yuav raug hu tsis tas yuav nkim koj lub sijhawm thiab lub zog - tsis yog vim lawv "tsis zoo" hauv lawv tus kheej, tab sis vim tias kev sib raug zoo nrog lawv yuav tsis ua rau koj muaj kev xav zoo.
1. Ib txwm "yuav tsum tau"
Ib tug neeg zoo li no tas li xav tau lwm tus neeg, xav tau lub tuam txhab, tab sis tib lub sijhawm nws hais txog nws tus kheej, txog nws cov teeb meem thiab kev xav tau. Tej yam ib txwm tshwm sim rau nws, thiab nws lub neej yog kev ua yeeb yam tsis tu ncua. Thiab, ntawm chav kawm, peb thov txim rau qhov tsis muaj hmoo ntawm peb tus kheej txoj kev, tsuas yog nws nyuaj rau peb: hauv kev sib raug zoo li no peb tsis tau txais dab tsi rov qab - tsis muaj kev sov siab, tsis muaj kev saib xyuas, tsis muaj kev koom tes. Kev sib txuas lus nrog nws yog kev qaug zog thiab kev puas tsuaj.
2. Kev yws txog lwm tus tom qab lawv nraub qaum
Koj tuaj yeem paub tseeb tias yog tias muaj kev tsis sib haum xeeb ntawm koj, tus neeg no yuav tsis muaj lub siab tawv thiab kev loj hlob los tham nrog koj lub ntsej muag. Tsis yog, nws yuav hais lus thuam koj tom qab koj nraub qaum.
Tau kawg, peb txhua tus, tib neeg, sib tham txog ib leeg, tsis muaj kev tawm ntawm qhov no. Lo lus nug yog seb peb ua li cas, nrog cov lus twg, lub hom phiaj, cov lus twg peb xaiv. Yog tias peb tig mus rau lwm tus rau kev tawm tswv yim, qhov no yog ib qho, tab sis yog tias peb tsuas yog khiav mus rau "sneak" thiab hais lus ntxhi, nws yog lwm qhov.
3. Ua tus kheej
Lawv zoo ib yam li cov "neeg txom nyem nyob mus ib txhis", vim lawv tsuas tham txog lawv tus kheej xwb. Muaj tseeb, "obsessed" tsis txwv rau kev tsis txaus siab - nws hais txog nws cov xov xwm thiab khaub ncaws tshiab, txog nws qhov tsos thiab lub neej, txog nws txoj haujlwm thiab kev nyiam. Peb paub tseeb tias xws li "kev ua si ib sab", qhov twg tsis muaj qhov chaw rau kev sib tham thiab koj nyiam, koj yuav tau dhuav sai sai.
4. Tswj
Xws li ib tug neeg yog accustomed mus rau commands, accustomed tias txhua yam yuav tsum tau raws li nws hais. Thiab nws tsis yog npaj txhij los hnov qhov kev tawm tsam. Nws feem ntau yog ib tug neeg saib xyuas, tsis xav kom muaj kev sib haum xeeb thiab yoog raws. Tab sis Vajtswv txwv tsis pub koj qhia lawv txog nws - nws "ib txwm ua, ua thiab yuav ua," thiab tsis muaj dab tsi los qhia nws!
Narrowness ntawm lub siab tiv thaiv lub "tswj" los ntawm kev tsim kom muaj kev sib raug zoo qhib thiab zoo siab. Dab tsi muaj - qee zaum nws tsuas yog tsis txaus siab rau kev sib txuas lus nrog tus neeg ntawd.
5. Ua tsis taus pa
Cia peb ua siab ncaj: txhua tus phooj ywg qee zaum lig, thiab tshwj xeeb, qee tus ntawm lawv txawm cuam tshuam peb cov phiaj xwm. Thiab tseem peb paub tias feem ntau ntawm lawv tuaj yeem tso siab rau.
Tag nrho kev tsis lees paub yog lwm qhov teeb meem. Tus neeg zoo li no ib txwm lig rau 30-40 feeb, lossis txawm tias ib teev. Tsis tu ncua ncua sij hawm. cog lus tias yuav hu rov qab thiab tsis. Nws tsis nco qab txog hnub tseem ceeb, thiab tam sim no thiab tom qab ntawd nws ua tsis tiav - hauv ib lo lus, koj tsis tuaj yeem tsim kev sib raug zoo nrog tus phooj ywg zoo li no.
6. Kev txiav txim siab dhau lawm
Ib zaug ntxiv, peb txhua tus sib tham, txiav txim, thiab thuam lwm tus yam tsawg ib zaug. Tab sis muaj cov neeg ua phem rau lwm tus, tsuas yog vim lawv "tsis zoo li ntawd" - lawv coj txawv dua li peb cov phooj ywg xav tau. Lawv yog "yuam ceev tua" thiab xa cov lus txiav txim siab tsis ncaj yam tsis muaj sijhawm los sib txuas lus nrog lwm tus kom zoo, vim lawv tsis nrhiav kom paub tus neeg sib tham zoo dua, nws keeb kwm thiab kev txhawb siab.
Nrog ib tug neeg zoo li no, nws tsis yooj yim sua kom xav tias muaj kev nyab xeeb, vim koj yeej tsis paub tias thaum twg lub nthwv dej ntawm nws qhov kev rau txim yuav ntaus koj.
7. tub nkeeg dhau lawm
Ib tug tub nkeeg tsis yog ib tug phooj ywg phem, thiab nws tshwm sim ntau zaus. Yog tias nws tsis thab ua dab tsi hauv lwm qhov chaw thiab ncua sijhawm ncua sijhawm, qhov twg yog qhov lav tias nws yuav tsis ua ib yam rau koj thiab koj txoj kev phooj ywg? Nws yuav zoo li rau koj tias tsuas yog koj tab tom sim rub lub "lub laub" ntawm koj txoj kev sib raug zoo rau qhov chaw.
Txhua leej txhua tus paub tias cov phooj ywg tiag tiag muaj nuj nqis npaum li cas, tab sis peb lub sij hawm tsis muaj nqi tsawg. Siv nws kom zoo thiab tsis txhob nkim nws rau cov neeg uas tsis tsim nyog koj kev phooj ywg.