Masters ntawm kev sib txuas lus yeej ib txwm saib xyuas lub suab ntawm lub suab ntawm tus interlocutor thiab tsis hais lus cues. Feem ntau nws hloov tawm qhov tseem ceeb tshaj li cov lus uas nws hais. Peb qhia koj yuav ua li cas teb rau cov lus thuam tsis ncaj ncees thiab cov lus tsis tseeb rau koj.
Secrets ntawm kev sib txuas lus
Nws yog ib qho tseem ceeb kom paub txog peb lub suab ntawm lub suab, lub cev lub cev, gestures, lub taub hau qaij, kev taw qhia ntawm kev ntsia, ua pa, lub ntsej muag qhia thiab txav. Nodding, luag nyav, luag, frowning, assenting (“ntshiab”, “yog”), peb qhia tus hais tias peb yeej mloog nws cov lus.
Thaum lwm tus neeg hais lus tas lawm, rov hais dua lawv cov ntsiab lus tseem ceeb hauv koj cov lus. Piv txwv li: “Kuv xav qhia meej. Kuv nkag siab tias koj tab tom tham txog ... ” Nws yog ib qho tseem ceeb tsis txhob rov hais dua nws cov lus zoo li ib tug parrot, tab sis kom muab lawv los ntawm koj tus kheej - qhov no yuav pab tsim kom muaj kev sib tham thiab nco ntsoov zoo dua qhov tau hais.
Nws yog tsim nyog xav txog kev txhawb siab los ntawm kev nug koj tus kheej: Kuv sim ua kom tiav, lub hom phiaj ntawm kev sib tham yog dab tsi - kom yeej qhov kev sib cav lossis nrhiav kev nkag siab? Yog hais tias ib tug ntawm cov interlocutors tsuas xav ua phem rau lwm tus, rau txim, ua pauj, ua pov thawj ib yam dab tsi los yog muab nws tus kheej nyob rau hauv lub teeb pom kev zoo, qhov no tsis yog kev sib txuas lus, tab sis yog ib tug ua qauv qhia ntawm superiority.
Kev thuam thiab kev iab liam, suav nrog cov cuav, tuaj yeem teb nrog, piv txwv li: "Nws yog qhov txaus ntshai heev!", "Kuv nkag siab tias koj npau taws" lossis "Tsis txhob xav txog qhov ntawd." Peb tsuas qhia rau nws paub tias nws tau hnov. Tsis txhob tso siab rau cov lus piav qhia, kev tawm tsam kev tawm tsam, lossis pib tiv thaiv peb tus kheej, peb tuaj yeem ua lwm yam.
Yuav ua li cas teb rau tus npau taws interlocutor?
- Peb tuaj yeem pom zoo nrog tus interlocutor. Piv txwv li: "Kuv twv nws nyuaj heev rau kev sib txuas lus nrog kuv." Peb tsis pom zoo nrog qhov tseeb uas nws hais, peb tsuas lees tias nws muaj qee yam kev xav. Kev xav (nrog rau kev ntsuam xyuas thiab kev xav) yog cov ntsiab lus-lawv tsis yog raws li qhov tseeb.
- Peb tuaj yeem lees paub tias tus interlocutor tsis txaus siab: "Nws ib txwm tsis zoo siab thaum qhov no tshwm sim." Peb tsis tas yuav ncua ntev thiab nyuaj rau qhov tsis lees paub nws qhov kev liam, sim ua kom tau txais kev zam txim rau qhov peb tau ua txhaum rau nws. Peb tsis tas yuav tiv thaiv peb tus kheej tawm tsam kev foob pob, nws tsis yog tus txiav txim, thiab peb tsis yog tus raug liam. Nws tsis yog kev ua txhaum cai thiab peb tsis tas yuav ua pov thawj peb qhov dawb huv.
- Peb tuaj yeem hais tias, "Kuv pom tias koj npau taws." Qhov no tsis yog kev lees paub qhov txhaum. Peb tsuas saib nws lub suab, cov lus, thiab lub cev lus thiab kos qhov xaus. Peb lees paub nws txoj kev mob siab.
- Peb tuaj yeem hais tias, “Nws yuav tsum ua rau koj npau taws thaum qhov no tshwm sim. Kuv nkag siab koj, nws yuav piss kuv thiab. Peb qhia tias peb coj nws thiab nws txoj kev xav tiag. Ua li no, peb qhia tias peb hwm nws txoj cai kom muaj kev npau taws, txawm tias nws pom qhov deb ntawm txoj kev zoo tshaj plaws los qhia kev xav.
- Peb tuaj yeem ua siab ntev thiab tswj peb txoj kev npau taws los ntawm kev hais rau peb tus kheej, “Qhov txawv li cas. Tsuas yog vim nws hais tias nws tsis ua qhov tseeb. Nws nyuam qhuav hnov li ntawd thaum lub sijhawm ntawd. Qhov no tsis yog qhov tseeb. Nws tsuas yog nws txoj kev xav thiab nws txoj kev xav xwb. »
Cov lus teb
- "Muaj, qee zaum nws yeej zoo li ntawd."
- "Koj nyob nraum tej zaum yog hais txog ib yam dab tsi."
- "Kuv tsis paub tias koj tuaj yeem sawv nws li cas."
- “Nws yog ib qho nyuaj heev. Kuv tsis paub yuav hais li cas ».
- "Nws txaus ntshai heev."
- "Ua tsaug rau koj coj qhov no rau kuv mloog."
- "Kuv paub tseeb tias koj yuav tuaj nrog ib yam dab tsi."
Raws li koj hais no, ceev faj kom tsis txhob hais lus sarcastic, dismissive, los yog provocative. Xav txog tias koj mus ncig los ntawm tsheb thiab poob. Koj tsis paub tias koj nyob qhov twg thiab koj tsis paub yuav ua li cas. Nres thiab nug cov lus qhia? Tig ib ncig? Nrhiav qhov chaw pw?
Koj tsis meej pem, txhawj xeeb thiab tsis paub yuav mus qhov twg. Koj tsis paub tias muaj dab tsi tshwm sim thiab vim li cas tus interlocutor pib pov cov lus tsis tseeb. Teb nws maj mam, maj mam, tab sis tib lub sijhawm kom meej meej thiab sib npaug.
Txog tus sau: Aaron Carmine yog tus kws kho mob puas siab puas ntsws ntawm Nroog Balance Psychological Services hauv Chicago.