txheem
Cov kws kho mob hauv tsev neeg hais tias ib kab lus luv luv tuaj yeem tshem tawm kev sib cav sib ceg thiab tig kev sib cav mus rau hauv kev sib tham tsim nyog. Cov kab lus no yog dab tsi thiab nws yuav pab tau li cas hauv nruab nrab ntawm kev tsis sib haum xeeb nrog tus khub?
"Tsis txhob hnov qab peb nyob rau tib sab"
Tau kaum xyoo ntawm kev sib yuav, tus neeg sau xov xwm Ashley Innes tau ntev tau siv los tham hauv cov suab nrov. Qee lub sij hawm qhov qub tau rov ua dua: kev tsis sib haum xeeb tshwm sim vim qhov tseeb tias ob tus txij nkawm tau ua haujlwm hnyav, thaum muaj kev ntxhov siab ntau, thiab lawv tsis muaj sijhawm los yog lub zog rau tsev neeg.
"Lub sijhawm kawg, kev sib tham txog kev cia siab rau kev ua haujlwm ntxiv tau xaus rau hauv kev tsis sib haum xeeb. Peb ib zaug ntxiv muaj kev tsis sib haum xeeb txog kev ua haujlwm cuam tshuam rau peb thiab menyuam yaus npaum li cas, peb tau siv sijhawm ntev npaum li cas nrog tsev neeg, leej twg yog tus saib xyuas haujlwm hauv tsev. Qee lub sij hawm, kuv pom tau hais tias peb tab tom qw ntawm ib leeg thiab cuam tshuam kev sib cav, "Innes nco qab. Tab sis tom qab ntawd nws siv nws " riam phom zais cia" - ib kab lus uas tso cai rau koj los xaus kev sib cav.
“Kuv hais rau kuv tus txiv tias, 'Tsis txhob hnov qab tias peb nyob ib sab. Thaum tau hais cov lus no, peb nco ntsoov tam sim ntawd tias tus neeg nyob rau pem hauv ntej tsis yog peb tus yeeb ncuab thiab peb tsis muaj laj thawj sib cav nrog nws. Thiab tsis txhob sib pauv kev thuam, peb pib mloog ib leeg, nrhiav kev sib haum xeeb thiab kev daws teeb meem, "nws paub tseeb.
Kev sib yuav yog ib pab neeg ua si
Ntau tus kws kho mob hauv tsev neeg pom zoo nrog Innes, uas kuj sib cav tias txoj hauv kev nrawm tshaj plaws los daws qhov kev sib tham yog hais cov kab lus yooj yim "peb nyob rau tib sab" lossis "peb nyob hauv tib pab neeg."
Yog tias nws tsis raug tsim txom (tsis tau, yog tias koj rov hais cov lus no ntau zaus hauv ib hnub, lawv yuav tsis muaj txiaj ntsig sai), cov kab lus no tuaj yeem hloov qhov kev tsis sib haum xeeb rau hauv kev sib tham txog kev daws teeb meem. Nyob rau hauv nruab nrab ntawm kev sib cav, thaum koj npaj txhij los tuav ib leeg los ntawm caj pas, lawv pab koj nco ntsoov tias kev sib yuav yog "pab ncaws pob" thiab qhov tseeb tshaj plaws kom poob yog sim "sib ntaus" ib leeg.
"Los ntawm hais tias 'peb nyob rau tib pab pawg', koj tau hais meej tias txawm tias koj tsis nyiam qhov xwm txheej tam sim no thiab qhov sib txawv uas nws tau tshwm sim, koj tseem xav ua ke thiab txaus siab rau kev sib raug zoo. Qhov no pab ob leeg kom tsis txhob muaj kev tiv thaiv thiab pib daws qhov teeb meem, "piav qhia tus kws kho mob hlwb Marie Land.
Txawm zoo dua, cov txheej txheem no ua haujlwm zoo dua nyob rau lub sijhawm.
Yog tias koj paub tias yav dhau los cov lus "peb nyob ib sab" pab ua kom siab thiab pib xav ntau dua, thaum koj hnov lawv dua, nco ntsoov tam sim ntawd koj tswj tau li cas los ntawm kev sib haum xeeb thiab kev nkag siab yav dhau los. .
"Ib Pab Pawg Txuj Ci ua haujlwm vim tias nws khaws cov yam ntxwv tseem ceeb ntawm kev sib tham txog kev xav xws li kev sib cav thiab kev sib ntaus," tus kws kho mob hauv tsev neeg Jennifer Chappel Marsh hais. Peb qhov kev sib tham thaum lub sij hawm qhov kev tsis sib haum xeeb tshwm sim ntawm ob theem: lub ntsiab lus ntawm kev sib tham (qhov peb sib cav txog dab tsi) thiab cov txheej txheem ntawm kev sib tham nws tus kheej (peb sib cav li cas). "Ntau zaus, kev sib tham zoo tib yam hloov mus rau hauv kev sib cav tsis meej vim tias nws tau ua," tus kws kho hlwb piav qhia.
Ib qho kev sib tham uas tau ua los ntawm txoj hauj lwm ntawm "kuv tawm tsam koj" tsis zoo los ntawm qhov pib. Tej zaum koj yuav muaj peev xwm yeej qhov kev sib cav los ntawm kev yuam tus khub kom pom zoo, tab sis qhov no txhais tau tias koj tsis nco qab txog koj lub hom phiaj tiag tiag: tus yeeb ncuab tiag tiag yog ib qho teeb meem uas tshwm sim hauv kev sib raug zoo, thiab nws yuav tsum tau daws ua ke, ua ke, xws li. ib pab neeg.
"Los ntawm kev hais cov kab lus npaj ua ntej xws li "peb nyob hauv tib pab pawg," peb lees tias peb tau ua tiav rau kev xav thiab tsis txhob sim "sib ntaus" tus khub," Chappel Marsh paub tseeb.
Yeej lossis Reconcile?
Txoj kev daws teeb meem yooj yim heev uas nws ua rau koj xav tias: vim li cas peb thiaj li siv zog los yeej qhov kev sib cav? Puas yog nws nyuaj rau nco ntsoov txij thaum pib tias peb nyob rau tib sab nrog tus khub?
"Qee lub sij hawm peb yuav tsum tau hnov, txaus siab, ua tib zoo saib rau peb hloov mus rau qhov tseem ceeb tshaj qhov kev nyiam ntawm ob niam txiv. Nyob rau theem instinctive, yeej ib qho kev sib cav yog coj los ua pov thawj tias peb tau ua tiag tiag. Nws ua rau muaj kev ruaj ntseg, "piav qhia Jennifer Chappel Marsh.
Ntawm qhov tod tes, poob kev sib cav nrog tus khub tuaj yeem ua rau muaj kev ntshai, kev poob siab, thiab kev poob siab. Koj poob kev ntseeg siab thiab xav tias raug hem, uas ua rau muaj kev sib ntaus sib tua-lossis-flight teb. Txhawm rau tiv thaiv qhov no, koj desperately "sib ntaus", sim "yeej". "Muaj ntau tus neeg coj tus cwj pwm nruj tsis txhob koom tes nrog tus khub," tus kws kho mob hais.
Cov kev xav no tuaj yeem ua rau nws nyuaj rau peb kom lees txais lub tswv yim ntawm "ib pab neeg."
Tus kws qhia ntawv thiab tus kws kho kev puas siab puas ntsws Trey Morgan tau sib yuav rau 31 xyoo. Nws tau siv cov txheej txheem no tau ntev thiab tau txais daim ntawv pov thawj rau nws cov txiaj ntsig. Txawm li cas los xij, thaum xub thawj nws tsis yooj yim rau nws lees txais lub tswv yim no.
“Thaum kuv tus poj niam thiab kuv sib cav, peb txhua tus xav ua kom raug. Thiab, kom ua ncaj ncees, kuv xav kom lwm tus ua yuam kev. Nws tsis yog txog ob peb xyoos tom qab ntawd peb pom tau tias peb tau "ua si" rau tib pab pawg. Thaum kawg peb pom tau hais tias peb yeej thiab poob tsuas yog ua ke, ”Morgan hais. Tom qab qhov kev paub no, lawv txoj kev sib raug zoo nrog nws tus poj niam tau txhim kho zoo heev. "Thaum koj tuav lub tswv yim no tiag tiag, nws yuav pab tau zoo."
Yuav ua li cas coj kev sib tham tom qab "cov lus khawv koob" tau hais? " Sim nug koj tus khub cov lus nug uas yuav pab koj nkag siab zoo dua lawv qhov kev xav. Piv txwv li: "Dab tsi yog qhov tseem ceeb tshaj rau koj ntawm no?", "Koj chim siab dab tsi?". Qhov no yog qhov ua tau zoo dua li hais txog koj txoj haujlwm dua, ”qhia rau tsev neeg tus kws kho mob Winifred Reilly.
Thaum koj pib xav raws cov kab ntawm "peb yog ib pab neeg," sim siv nws rau koj txhua hnub kev sib cuam tshuam nrog koj tus khub. “Nws yog ib qho zoo uas yuav tsum nco ntsoov tias thaum koj ib tus yeej thiab lwm qhov poob, koj ob leeg yeej yeej. Txawm hais tias koj tau tswj kom tau qhov koj xav tau tam sim no, nws yuav zoo dua rau kev sib raug zoo nyob rau lub sijhawm ntev yog tias koj tuaj yeem nrhiav kev daws teeb meem uas coj los rau hauv tus account qhov xav tau ntawm ob qho tib si, "Summarizes Winifred Reilly.