Kev tsis sib haum xeeb, kev sib tw ntawm cov kwv tij yog ib txwm muaj. Tab sis cov no tuaj yeem ua rau muaj kev cuam tshuam tsis zoo rau tsev neeg thiab cov niam txiv feem ntau cuam tshuam los ntawm kev ua phem ntawm lawv cov menyuam. Yuav ua li cas nrog kev sib ntaus sib tua ntawm cov kwv tij ? Peb puas yuav tsum coj sab, rau txim, cais cov neeg phem?
Gordon txoj kev qhia dab tsi: Ua ntej tshaj plaws, nws yog ib qho tsim nyog yuav tsum tau tso cov kev cai ntawm lub neej hauv zej zog, kawm kev hwm lwm tus : “Koj muaj cai npau taws rau koj tus muam, tab sis nws yog ib qho teeb meem rau kuv uas koj ntaus nws. Txwv tsis pub ntaus ntawv. Koj muaj cai npau taws rau koj tus kwv, tab sis kev rhuav tshem nws cov khoom ua si tsis tau txais, vim kev hwm rau lwm tus thiab lawv cov xwm txheej yog qhov tseem ceeb. ” Thaum cov kev txwv tau teeb tsa, peb tuaj yeem siv cov cuab yeej siv tau zoo: kev daws teeb meem tsis muaj kev poob. Thomas Gordon yog ib tug pioneer hauv conceptualizing kev daws teeb meem los ntawm kev yeej-yeej mus kom ze. Lub hauv paus ntsiab lus yooj yim: koj yuav tsum tsim kom muaj lub ntsiab lus zoo, tsis txhob kub thaum lub sijhawm muaj kev sib cav, mloog ib leeg nrog kev hwm, txhais cov kev xav tau ntawm txhua tus, sau tag nrho cov kev daws teeb meem, xaiv cov kev daws teeb meem uas tsis ua rau leej twg raug mob, muab nws nyob rau hauv qhov chaw. kev siv thiab ntsuas cov txiaj ntsig. Cov niam txiv ua tus neeg nruab nrab, nws cuam tshuam yam tsis muaj kev sib koom tes thiab tso cai rau cov menyuam los daws lawv qhov kev sib txawv me me thiab tsis sib haum xeeb ntawm lawv tus kheej. : “Koj tuaj yeem ua lwm yam li cas? Koj tuaj yeem hais tias "nres, txaus!" Koj tuaj yeem nqa lwm yam khoom ua si. Koj tuaj yeem muab nws ib qho ntawm koj cov khoom ua si pauv rau tus uas koj ntshaw. Koj tuaj yeem tawm hauv chav thiab mus ua si rau lwm qhov… ” Tus neeg raug tsim txom thiab tus neeg ua txhaum ua haujlwm tawm qhov kev daws teeb meem uas ua haujlwm rau ob leeg.
Kuv tus me nyuam stings dab npau taws
Cov niam txiv feem ntau tsis muaj kev pab thaum lawv tus menyuam npau taws heev. Txoj kev xav ntawm tus me nyuam txhawb nqa qhov kev xav ntawm niam txiv uas, nyob rau hauv lem, txhawb kev npau taws ntawm tus me nyuam., nws yog ib lub voj voog vicious. Tau kawg, thawj tus uas yuav tsum tawm ntawm qhov kev npau taws no yog niam txiv, vim tus neeg laus yog nws.
Gordon txoj kev qhia dab tsi: Tom qab txhua tus cwj pwm nyuaj yog qhov tsis xav tau. LUBnws npau taws me me xav kom peb paub txog nws tus cwj pwm, nws saj, nws qhov chaw, nws thaj chaw. Nws yuav tsum mloog nws niam nws txiv. Hauv cov menyuam yaus, kev npau taws feem ntau tshwm sim vim lawv tsis tuaj yeem hais qhov tshwm sim rau lawv. Thaum 18-24 lub hlis, lawv muaj kev ntxhov siab heev vim lawv tsis muaj lus txaus los ua kom lawv nkag siab. Koj yuav tsum tau pab nws muab nws txoj kev xav rau hauv cov lus: “Kuv xav tias koj chim rau peb thiab hais tsis tau vim li cas. Nws nyuaj vim koj piav tsis tau rau peb, nws tsis yog funny rau koj. Koj muaj cai tsis pom zoo rau qhov kuv thov ntawm koj, tab sis kuv tsis pom zoo nrog txoj kev koj qhia. Hurling, dov rau hauv av, tsis yog txoj kev daws teeb meem thiab koj yuav tsis tau dab tsi los ntawm kuv li ntawd. » Ib zaug nthwv dej ntawm kev ua phem tau dhau mus, peb tham dua tom qab hais txog qhov ua rau ntawm qhov kev npau taws no, peb paub txog qhov xav tau, peb piav qhia tias peb tsis pom zoo nrog kev daws teeb meem thiab peb qhia lwm txoj hauv kev ua. Thiab yog tias peb tus kheej tau muab rau hauv kev npau taws, nws yuav tsum tau piav qhia : “Kuv npau taws thiab hais cov lus phem uas kuv tsis txhais. Kuv xav kom peb tham txog nws ua ke. Kuv ntxhov siab vim nyob hauv qab, kuv hais yog lawm thiab kuv tuaj yeem lees paub tias koj tus cwj pwm tsis tuaj yeem txais, tab sis ntawm daim ntawv, kuv ua tsis yog. “