Niam thiab menyuam: nws txoj kev xav yog qhov tseem ceeb dua?

Ntawm cov txee

Ua ntej yuav ua kom nkag siab txog qhov nws tus cwj pwm tseem ceeb dua, niam lossis tus menyuam, koj yuav tsum teb cov lus nug vim li cas peb xav tau kev xav txhua. Lawv pib li cas thiab lawv ua haujlwm li cas?

Hauv cov lus tshawb fawb, kev xav yog lub ntsiab lus ntawm ib tus neeg cuam tshuam nrog kev ntsuam xyuas qhov tseem ceeb ntawm cov xwm txheej tshwm sim nyob ib puag ncig nws thiab kev qhia ntawm nws tus cwj pwm rau lawv.

Tab sis yog tias peb tso tseg cov ntsiab lus nruj, kev xav yog peb txoj kev nplua nuj, peb cov lus qhia rau lub ntiaj teb ntawm peb tus kheej lub siab nyiam thiab kev xav tau. Ib lub teeb ci ntsa iab nyob rau hauv thaum peb qhov kev xav tau - txawm tias lub hlwb, kev xav, sab ntsuj plig, lossis lub cev - tsis tau txais. Los yog, ntawm qhov tsis sib xws, lawv txaus siab - yog tias peb tab tom tham txog cov xwm txheej "zoo".

Thiab thaum ib yam dab tsi tshwm sim uas ua rau peb tu siab, npau taws, ntshai, zoo siab, peb hnov ​​tsis tau tsuas yog nrog peb tus ntsuj plig, tab sis kuj nrog peb lub cev.

Txhawm rau txiav txim siab txog kev ua tiav thiab ua ib kauj ruam los ua kom tau raws li peb cov kev xav tau, peb xav tau "roj". Yog li, cov tshuaj hormones uas peb lub cev tso tawm los teb rau "kev txhawb nqa sab nraud" yog cov roj uas tso cai rau peb ua qee yam. Nws hloov tawm tias peb txoj kev xav yog lub zog uas thawb peb lub cev thiab lub siab mus rau qee yam kev coj cwj pwm. Tam sim no peb xav ua dab tsi - quaj lossis qw? Khiav mus los yog khov?

Muaj xws li ib yam li "kev xav hauv paus". Yooj yim - vim peb txhua tus paub txog lawv, txhua lub hnub nyoog thiab tsis muaj qhov tshwj xeeb. Cov no suav nrog kev tu siab, ntshai, npau taws, qias neeg, xav tsis thoob, kev xyiv fab, thiab kev thuam. Peb hnov ​​​​mob siab vim yog lub hauv paus mechanism uas muab "hormonal teb" rau ib qho kev txhawb nqa.

Yog tias tsis muaj lus nug nrog kev xyiv fab thiab xav tsis thoob, ces qhov kev xav ntawm "phem" tej zaum yuav muaj lus nug. Vim li cas peb thiaj xav tau lawv? Yog tsis muaj qhov "cim ceeb toom" tib neeg yuav tsis muaj txoj sia nyob: nws yog tus uas qhia peb tias muaj qee yam tsis raug thiab peb yuav tsum kho nws. Qhov system no ua haujlwm li cas? Nov yog qee qhov piv txwv yooj yim ntsig txog lub neej ntawm qhov tsawg tshaj plaws:

• Yog tias leej niam tsis nyob ib puag ncig ntev dua li niaj zaus, tus me nyuam muaj kev ntxhov siab thiab kev tu siab, tsis xav tias nws muaj kev nyab xeeb.
• Yog hais tias leej niam frowns, tus me nyuam "nyeem" nws mus ob peb vas los ntawm qhov teeb meem tsis hais lus, thiab nws yuav ntshai.
• Yog leej niam tsis khoom nws tus kheej, tus me nyuam yuav tu siab.
• Yog tias tus menyuam mos noj tsis raws sijhawm, nws npau taws thiab qw txog nws.
• Yog hais tias ib tug me nyuam tau muab zaub mov uas nws tsis xav tau, xws li zaub paj, nws muaj kev qias neeg thiab qias neeg.

Obviously, rau ib tug me nyuam mos, kev xav yog ib yam dab tsi kiag li thiab evolutionary yam. Yog hais tias ib tug me nyuam uas tseem tsis tau hais lus tsis qhia nws niam los ntawm kev npau taws lossis kev tu siab tias nws tsis txaus siab, nws yuav nyuaj rau nws nkag siab nws thiab muab nws qhov nws xav tau lossis ua kom muaj kev nyab xeeb.

Cov kev xav hauv paus tau pab tib neeg muaj sia nyob tau ntau pua xyoo. Yog tias tsis muaj kev ntxub ntxaug, peb tuaj yeem raug tshuaj lom los ntawm cov khoom noj uas lwj. Yog tias tsis muaj kev ntshai, peb tuaj yeem dhia tawm ntawm pob tsuas thiab tsoo. Yog tias tsis muaj kev paub txog kev kho siab, yog tias tsis muaj kev tu siab, peb yuav tsis tsim ib pab pawg thiab yuav tsis muaj sia nyob hauv qhov xwm txheej hnyav.

Koj thiab kuv zoo ib yam!

Tus me nyuam kom meej meej, vividly thiab tam sim ntawd tshaj tawm nws cov kev xav tau. Vim li cas? Vim hais tias lub paj hlwb cortex ntawm nws lub hlwb tab tom tsim, lub paj hlwb nyob rau hauv ib qho tsis paub tab, cov paj hlwb tseem raug them nrog myelin. Thiab myelin yog ib hom "kab kab xev" uas inhibits paj hlwb impulse thiab tswj lub siab lub ntsws teb.

Tias yog vim li cas tus me nyuam me tsis tshua qeeb nws cov tshuaj hormonal thiab reacts sai thiab ncaj qha rau cov stimuli nws ntsib. Qhov nruab nrab, cov me nyuam kawm tswj lawv cov kev tshwm sim thaum muaj hnub nyoog yim xyoo.

Cov kev xav tau ntawm tus neeg laus feem ntau tsis txawv ntau ntawm cov menyuam mos. Ob tus me nyuam thiab nws niam tau "tso" tib yam. Lawv muaj ob txhais caj npab, ob txhais ceg, pob ntseg thiab ob lub qhov muag - thiab tib yam kev xav tau yooj yim. Peb txhua tus xav hnov, hlub, hwm, kom muaj cai ua si thiab sijhawm dawb. Peb xav xav tias peb tseem ceeb thiab muaj txiaj ntsig, peb xav xav tias peb qhov tseem ceeb, kev ywj pheej thiab kev muaj peev xwm.

Thiab yog tias peb cov kev xav tau tsis tau ua tiav, ces peb, zoo li cov menyuam yaus, yuav "tshem tawm" qee yam tshuaj hormones txhawm rau ua kom ze rau kev ua tiav qhov peb xav tau. Qhov sib txawv ntawm cov menyuam yaus thiab cov neeg laus tsuas yog cov neeg laus tuaj yeem tswj hwm lawv tus cwj pwm zoo me ntsis ua tsaug rau cov kev paub hauv lub neej thiab "ua haujlwm" ntawm myelin. Ua tsaug rau lub network neural tsim tau zoo, peb tuaj yeem hnov ​​​​peb tus kheej. Thiab tsis txhob hnov ​​​​qab txog kev hais lus ntawm tus neeg laus. Cov lus yog tus yuam sij rau kev vam meej!

Niam tos tau?

Raws li menyuam yaus, peb txhua tus hnov ​​peb tus kheej thiab paub txog peb txoj kev xav. Tab sis, loj hlob tuaj, peb xav tias muaj kev tsim txom ntawm lub luag haujlwm thiab ntau lub luag haujlwm thiab tsis nco qab nws li cas. Peb txwv peb txoj kev ntshai, peb txi peb cov kev xav tau - tshwj xeeb tshaj yog thaum peb muaj menyuam. Kev lig kev cai, cov poj niam zaum nrog cov menyuam hauv peb lub tebchaws, yog li lawv raug kev txom nyem ntau dua li lwm tus.

Cov niam uas yws yws txog kev kub nyhiab, qaug zog, thiab lwm yam kev xav "tsis pom zoo" feem ntau hais tias: "Cia li ua siab ntev, koj yog neeg laus thiab koj yuav tsum ua qhov no." Thiab, ntawm chav kawm, classic: "Koj yog leej niam." Hmoov tsis zoo, los ntawm kev qhia peb tus kheej "Kuv yuav tsum" thiab tsis mloog "Kuv xav tau", peb tso peb qhov kev xav tau, kev ntshaw, kev nyiam ua. Yog lawm, peb ua haujlwm hauv zej zog. Peb zoo rau haiv neeg, tab sis peb puas zoo rau peb tus kheej? Peb zais peb cov kev xav tau hauv lub thawv nyob deb, kaw lawv nrog lub xauv thiab plam tus yuam sij rau nws ...

Tab sis peb cov kev xav tau, uas, qhov tseeb, los ntawm peb qhov tsis nco qab, zoo li dej hiav txwv uas tsis tuaj yeem muaj nyob hauv lub thoob dej yug ntses. Lawv yuav nias los ntawm sab hauv, npau taws, thiab yog li ntawd, lub «dam» yuav tawg - sai los yog tom qab. Kev tshem tawm los ntawm ib tus neeg xav tau kev pab, kev tawm tsam ntawm kev ntshaw tuaj yeem ua rau tus kheej ua rau muaj kev puas tsuaj ntawm ntau hom - piv txwv li, ua rau overeating, cawv, shopaholism. Feem ntau qhov kev tsis lees paub ntawm ib qho kev ntshaw thiab kev xav tau ua rau cov kab mob psychosomatic thiab mob: mob taub hau, mob leeg, kub siab.

Kaw peb cov kev xav tau thiab kev xav rau lub tsev fuabtais, yog li peb tso peb tus kheej, los ntawm peb "Kuv". Thiab qhov no tsis tuaj yeem tab sis tsim kev tawm tsam thiab npau taws.

Yog tias nws zoo li peb tias niam yog qhov kev xav ntau dhau, qhov teeb meem tsis nyob hauv nws txoj kev xav thiab tsis yog nyob rau hauv lawv qhov ntau. Tej zaum nws tsuas tso tseg tsis saib xyuas nws txoj kev ntshaw thiab kev xav tau, ua siab ntev rau nws tus kheej. Zoo "hnov" tus menyuam, tab sis tig tawm ntawm nws tus kheej ...

Tej zaum qhov no yog vim qhov tseeb tias tib neeg tau dhau los ua menyuam yaus heev. Kev txawj ntse ntawm tib neeg yog loj hlob, tus nqi ntawm lub neej kuj loj hlob. Cov neeg zoo li tau thawed: peb muaj kev hlub zoo rau menyuam yaus, peb xav muab qhov zoo tshaj plaws rau lawv. Peb nyeem cov ntawv ntse txog kev nkag siab thiab tsis ua rau tus menyuam raug mob. Peb sim ua raws li kev xav ntawm kev sib txuas. Thiab qhov no yog qhov zoo thiab tseem ceeb!

Tab sis kev sib txuas lus tsis xav kom cov niam tso lawv tus kheej thiab mus rau hauv kev txi rau tus kheej. Psychologist Julia Gippenreiter tau hais txog qhov tshwm sim xws li "jug ntawm npau taws." Qhov no yog tib lub hiav txwv uas tau piav saum toj no tias lawv tab tom sim khaws cia hauv lub thoob dej yug ntses. Tib neeg cov kev xav tau tsis txaus siab, thiab kev npau taws hauv peb, uas sai sai los sis tom qab ntawd ntws tawm. Nws manifestations yog yuam kev rau lub siab lub ntsws instability.

Hnov lub suab ntawm qhov tsis zoo

Peb tuaj yeem tiv nrog peb txoj kev xav thiab tswj lawv li cas? Tsuas muaj ib lo lus teb xwb: hnov ​​lawv, paub txog lawv qhov tseem ceeb. Thiab nrog koj tus kheej tham txog txoj kev uas niam rhiab tham nrog nws cov menyuam.

Peb muaj peev xwm hais lus rau peb tus me nyuam zoo li no: “Kuv hnov ​​koj. Yog tias koj npau taws heev, tej zaum qee yam tseem ceeb tshwm sim? Tej zaum koj tsis tau txais yam koj xav tau? Kuv pom zoo nrog koj thiab yuav nrhiav txoj hauv kev kom tau raws li kuv xav tau. "

Peb yuav tsum tau hnov ​​lub suab ntawm qhov tsis zoo nyob rau hauv tus ntsuj plig. Los ntawm kev saib xyuas peb tus kheej, peb qhia cov menyuam mloog lawv cov kev xav tau yooj yim. Los ntawm peb qhov piv txwv, peb qhia tias nws tseem ceeb heev tsis yog ua haujlwm tom tsev, ntxuav thiab mus ua haujlwm. Nws yog ib qho tseem ceeb kom hnov ​​koj tus kheej thiab qhia koj cov kev xav nrog cov neeg koj hlub. Thiab hais kom lawv kho peb txoj kev xav nrog kev saib xyuas, hwm lawv.

Thiab yog tias koj ntsib teeb meem nrog qhov no, tom qab ntawd koj tuaj yeem kawm paub tham txog cov kev xav hauv lub siab hauv lub chaw ua haujlwm puas siab puas ntsws, hauv cov xwm txheej ntawm kev sib cuag tsis pub lwm tus paub. Thiab tsuas yog tom qab ntawd, me ntsis los ntawm kev qhia lawv rau lub ntiaj teb.

Leej twg yog thawj?

Peb tuaj yeem qhia peb cov kev xav hauv cov lus, siv kev sib piv thiab cov lus piv txwv los qhia qhov tob ntawm peb cov kev paub dhau los. Peb tuaj yeem hnov ​​​​peb lub cev yog tias peb pom tias nws nyuaj los txiav txim siab raws nraim qhov peb xav.

Thiab qhov tseem ceeb tshaj plaws: thaum peb hnov ​​peb tus kheej, peb tsis tas yuav xaiv qhov kev xav uas tseem ceeb dua - peb lossis peb cov menyuam. Tom qab tag nrho, kev khuv leej rau lwm tus tsis txhais hais tias peb tsis mloog peb lub suab sab hauv.

Peb tuaj yeem ua siab ntev nrog tus menyuam tsis txaus siab, tab sis kuj nrhiav sijhawm rau kev nyiam ua haujlwm.

Peb muaj peev xwm muab lub mis rau tus neeg tshaib plab, tab sis kuj tsis txhob cia nws tom, vim nws ua rau peb mob.

Peb tuaj yeem tuav tus neeg tsaug zog tsis muaj peb, tab sis peb tsis tuaj yeem lees paub tias peb nkees heev.

Los ntawm kev pab peb tus kheej, peb pab peb cov menyuam mloog lawv tus kheej zoo dua. Tom qab tag nrho, peb txoj kev xav tseem ceeb sib npaug.