PSYchology

Cov lus hais los ntawm cov tub ntxhais kawm yav dhau los ntawm cov neeg tseem ceeb hauv tsev kawm ntawv Moscow "League of Schools" uas tus thawj coj thiab tus thawj coj ua phem rau cov menyuam kawm ntawv rau 25 xyoo tau nug ntau yam lus nug. Peb tsis mus nrhiav qhov raug thiab qhov tsis raug. Peb xav tham txog vim li cas cov xwm txheej zoo li no tshwm sim hauv cov tsev kawm ntawv kaw. Yuav ua li cas cov niam txiv yuav tsum txi kom muaj kev kawm zoo? Dab tsi yog qhov lees txais hauv kev sib txuas lus ntawm tus kws qhia ntawv thiab tus menyuam? Cov lus nug no tau teb los ntawm peb cov kws tshaj lij.

Cov neeg tseem ceeb Moscow tsev kawm ntawv "League of Schools" raug kaw nyob rau hauv 2014 vim bureaucratic qeeb. Ob xyoos tom qab, kev tshaj tawm online Meduza luam tawm tsab ntawv ceeb toom Daniil Turovsky, qhov no version yog refuted. Ntau tshaj 20 tus tub ntxhais kawm yav dhau los ntawm lub tsev kawm tau lees paub tias 25 xyoo tus thawj coj ntawm lub tsev kawm ntawv Sergei Bebchuk thiab nws tus thawj coj Nikolay Izyumov tau ua phem rau cov menyuam kawm ntawv. Cov tub ntxhais kawm muab qhov kawg: kaw tsev kawm lossis cia peb mus rau hauv tsev hais plaub.

Daim ntawv tshaj tawm tau tsa ntau cov lus nug. Vim li cas cov tub ntxhais kawm tsuas lees txim ob xyoos tom qab tsev kawm ntawv kaw? Yuav ua li cas lwm tus xib fwb yuav nyob twj ywm thaum lawv pom dab tsi tshwm sim nyob rau hauv lub tsev kawm ntawv? Qee tus tau tawm tsam cov kws qhia ntawv nrog cov lus npau taws hauv Web. Lwm tus paub tseeb tias daim ntawv tshaj tawm yog kev cai tsim. Tseem muaj lwm tus tsis kam ntseeg tias cov kws qhia ntawv muaj peev xwm ua tau li ntawd.

Nws hais rau peb tias "Ua ntej tshaj plaws, Pab Koomtes ntawm Cov Tsev Kawm Ntawv ib txwm tau hais txog kev kawm zoo heev," nws hais rau peb. Psychologist Sonia Zege von Manteuffel, tus kws kho mob gestalt. Nws tau ua hauj lwm nyob rau hauv lub tsev kawm ntawv no rau 14 xyoo, txij li thaum 1999. - "League" nyob rau hauv nws internal qauv contradicted tag nrho cov canons ntawm post-Soviet kev kawm ntawv. Hauv kuv lub cim xeeb, txhua xyoo Bebchuk yuav tsum tau tiv thaiv ib yam dab tsi - txawm tias tsis muaj ntawv teev npe, lossis kev mus ncig ua si thiab txhua yam xwm txheej ntawm bureaucratic. Thiab txhua xyoo nws tau dhau los ua nyuaj dua. Yog li ntawd, cov neeg uas tam sim no xav tias lub tsev kawm ntawv raug kaw vim muaj kev thuam, koj yuav tsum paub: qhov no yog kev dag. Lub "League of Schools" yog "strap" los ntawm kev hloov kho kev kawm.

Sergei Bebchuk nyob rau hauv xov tooj cua Liberty nyob rau hauv 2014

Raws li kev sib raug zoo ntawm tsev kawm ntawv, lawv txawv. Txhua tus kws qhia ntawv muaj lawv tus kheej kev sib raug zoo. Nyiam, nyiam. Yog li ntawd, khawm, kev xyiv fab ntawm kev sib ntsib tsis zoo li perverted thiab fake rau kuv. Raws li ib tug psychologist, kuv tsis pom muaj kev sib deev overtones nyob rau hauv no. Thaum lub tsev kawm ntawv nyob ua ib lub cev, kev sib txuas lus ze dua ntawm tib neeg yog kev zam. Xav paub ntau ntxiv, tsis pub leej twg paub. Thiab qhov no tau txais txiaj ntsig zoo heev hauv sab hauv thiab qee qhov "tsim txawv" tau pom los ntawm sab nraud.

"Kuv kawm tiav tsev kawm ntawv tshwj xeeb": cov dab neeg tiag tiag ntawm cov kawm tiav

Tau kawg, cov ntxhais poob rau hauv kev hlub nrog cov kws qhia, tsis yog cov uas tau hais hauv tsab xov xwm. Muaj peev xwm cov xib fwb kuj poob rau hauv kev hlub. Tab sis kuv tsis tuaj yeem lees paub tias nws yog rau kev sib deev lub hom phiaj. Kuv yeej tsis ncaj ncees lawm, vim kuv loj hlob hauv lub tsev kawm ntawv no kuv tus kheej, kuv tuaj ua haujlwm thaum muaj hnub nyoog 26. Kuv paub txog qee cov dab neeg rau kev kawm. Kuv lees tias qee zaum nws yooj yim dua rau ib tug poj niam lossis ib tug ntxhais los qhia dua li txhawb kev coj ncaj ncees txog lawv txoj kev nyab xeeb.

Ncaj nraim txog qhov kev txaj muag - zaj dab neeg tau mus txog li ob xyoos. Kuv nco qab hu cov tub ntxhais kawm thiab cov kws qhia ntawv thiab sau cov ntsiab lus " txaus ntshai". Lub hom phiaj ntawm qhov no tsis yog ua kom muaj kev thuam thuam thiab "tiv thaiv menyuam yaus los ntawm kev phem ntawm pedophiles." Qhov no yog lub hom phiaj zoo. Tab sis cov pov thawj nyob qhov twg? Lub ntsiab lus tshaj tawm rau cov kws qhia ntawv zoo li blackmail: "Koj yuav tawm mus, tab sis peb yuav tsis hais, yog li tsis txhob ua phem rau Pab Koomtes, cog lus tias koj yuav tsis mus cuag cov menyuam ntxiv lawm ... Ah, tuaj, zoo, peb yuav txwv koj tam sim no …” Txoj kev uas cov ntaub ntawv no tau raug sau thiab nyob rau hauv daim ntawv twg lawv tau txais kev pab, nws zoo li ib tug loj psychosis.

Tam sim no nws yog ib qho nyuaj rau kuv los saib qhov xwm txheej raws li ib tug kws tshaj lij, muaj ntau yam kev xav thiab kev xav rau cov neeg raug liam thiab cov neeg liam. Kuv paub ib qho tseeb - tias qhov xwm txheej no yog kev puas tsuaj rau tag nrho cov neeg ntawm Pab Koomtes ntawm Cov Tsev Kawm Ntawv. Thiab tsis muaj leej twg tso tseg qhov kev xav ntawm kev tsis lees paub. "

Sergei Bebchuk tsis tau ntsib. Tab sis tus lwm thawj coj, ib tug ntawm cov raug liam los ntawm cov tub ntxhais kawm, Nikolai Izyumov, yog paub tseeb hais tias nws yog tsis yooj yim sua kom nyob twj ywm nyob rau hauv qhov teeb meem no.

"Kuv muaj kev ntseeg ruaj khov tias tag nrho qhov xwm txheej no yog tsim los," Nikolai Izyumov hais rau peb. “Ua ntej tshaj, peb kaw lub tsev kawm ntawv tsis yog vim muaj kev iab liam. Cov tub ntxhais kawm tuaj rau peb nrog qhov kawg ntawm lub Kaum Ob Hlis 2014. Lub sijhawm ntawd, peb twb tau npaj rau kev kaw, vim nws dhau los ua haujlwm tsis tau. Peb tau raug foob los ntawm cov kws lij choj, FSB, vim tias peb ib txwm tsis xis nyob, ua raws li kev xav ywj pheej. Yog li ntawd, thaum ib pab tub kawm ntawv coj los ntawm lub taub hau ntawm lub tsev ua yeeb yam studio liam peb ntawm tag nrho cov kev txhaum nyob rau hauv lub ntiaj teb no, peb tsis cam. Nws tsis tuaj yeem tham nrog lawv: peb poob siab, vim tias tag nrho cov neeg no yog peb cov phooj ywg.

Peb hais tias peb tab tom kaw tsev kawm ntawv, thov kom peb muab rau peb lub hlis. Kuv tso tseg vim kuv ua tsis tau hauj lwm - teeb meem plawv pib vim qhov xwm txheej no. Cov kws qhia ntawv thiab cov tub ntxhais kawm tuaj rau kuv txhua hnub. Lawv paub txog cov lus iab liam phem thiab tau npau taws los ntawm kev coj tus cwj pwm ntawm pawg neeg no. Tom qab ntawd lub tsev kawm ntawv kaw, thiab txhua yam zoo li yuav dhau mus. Tab sis ob xyoos tom qab, tsab xov xwm no tshwm sim nrog kev iab liam ntawm pedophilia. Cov lus iab liam no ob peb xyoos tom qab, hauv kuv lub tswv yim, yog kev xav ua pauj. Tsuas yog rau dab tsi?

"Yog lawm, nrog qee tus kws qhia ntawv, cov menyuam yaus tuaj yeem puag, tab sis qhov no tsuas yog kev sib raug zoo ntawm tib neeg."

Tej zaum muaj coob tus uas cem peb tsis tau zam txim tias lawv ua tsis tau rau lwm tus. Tom qab lub tsev kawm ntawv kaw, cov tub ntxhais kawm tuaj xyuas kuv, txuas ntxiv kev sib txuas lus nrog Sergey Alexandrovich (Bebchuk. - Ed.). Kuv qhib Intellect Club, qhov twg kuv ua online webinars, qee zaum offline master chav kawm. Hais txog qhov tseeb tias nws yog ib qho kev cai hauv tsev kawm ntawv rau cov tub ntxhais kawm hnia tus kws qhia ntawv thaum nkag hauv chav kawm yog qhov tsis muaj tseeb. Qhov no yeej tsis tau tshwm sim. Yog, nrog qee tus kws qhia ntawv, cov menyuam yaus tuaj yeem puag, tab sis qhov no tsuas yog kev sib raug zoo ntawm tib neeg.

Zaj dab neeg hais txog Tanya Karston (tus thawj coj ntawm kev ua yeeb yam. - Kwv yees li ed.) yog qhov tsis txaus ntseeg. Tus ntxhais yog ib tug me nyuam nyuaj heev. Kuv tsis tuaj yeem hais tias nws muaj tus cwj pwm sib cais, tab sis nws tuaj yeem tham txog nws tus kheej, piv txwv li, hauv peb tus neeg. Nws hais tias Bebchuk thab nws hauv chav da dej hauv ib lub tsev nyob hauv Bobrovo (cov tub ntxhais kawm feem ntau tuaj rau tus thawj coj rau cov chav kawm ntxiv rau hnub so. tuaj rau nws molested… Vim li cas? Nov yog qee yam tsis muaj tseeb. Tag nrho zaj dab neeg no yog nyob rau theem ntawm cov menyuam yaus qhov kev ua si "Tseeb los tsis ntseeg". Lawv qhia koj ib yam dab tsi, thiab tom qab ntawd koj tuaj yeem lees txais lossis tsis ua.

Izyumov tig mus rau ib tug kws lij choj ob xyoos dhau los. Tab sis nws txwv tsis pub nws thov. Raws li Izyumov, tus kws lij choj tau sib cav txog qhov xwm txheej hauv qab no: "Yog tias koj tsis quav ntsej txog cov khoom raug cai, muaj peev xwm ua haujlwm ntxiv hauv tsev kawm ntawv, kuv tsis xav kom koj pib - qhov no yuav yog txheej txheem mus sij hawm ntev hauv cov av. yuav ntws. " Izyumov lees tias: yog tias cov tub ntxhais kawm foob, nws yuav twv yuav raug txiav txim.

Peb yuav tsis txiav txim rau leej twg yog leej twg yog leej twg yog tus txhaum. Tab sis peb caw koj los xav txog vim li cas cov xwm txheej paub txog kev ua phem feem ntau cuam tshuam nrog cov zej zog kaw, txawm tias lawv yog cov tsev kawm ntawv tseem ceeb lossis lwm lub koom haum ntawm tib neeg.

Ib me ntsis ntawm keeb kwm

Cov ntaub ntawv nrog Pab Koomtes ntawm Tsev Kawm Ntawv yog tsis muaj kev cais. Lub Yim Hli 2016 hauv qhov chaw scandal Moscow lub tsev kawm ntawv 57 tau muab los ua: ib tug kws qhia keeb kwm raug liam ntawm ntau xyoo ntawm kev sib deev nrog cov tub ntxhais kawm. Cov neeg raug tsim txom tau khaws pov thawj thiab tau txais tus kws qhia ntawv raug rho tawm haujlwm. Muaj tseeb tiag, cov lus nug ntawm seb puas yog lwm tus kws qhia ntawv thiab cov neeg ua haujlwm hauv tsev kawm ntawv yeej tsis paub txog ib yam dab tsi tseem tsis tau teb.

Qhov teeb meem nws tus kheej tsis yog qhov tshiab: tib lo lus nug yog tias cov neeg raug tsim txom muaj sijhawm ntau los tham txog qhov tshwm sim rau lawv. Lawv tab tom ua dab tsi - suav nrog ua ib feem ntawm cov neeg mob flash #Kuv tsis ntshai hais.

Ntawm ob txhais tes ntawm cov neeg tsim txom uas tau txais lub hwj chim, cov tswv cuab ntawm cov zej zog kaw tau raug kev txom nyem thiab raug kev txom nyem - cov uas lawv tus kheej cov cai thiab cov cai feem ntau kav, txawv txawv thiab txawm tias tsis tsim nyog rau ib tus neeg saib xyuas sab nraud. Yog li, kev tsim txom kev sib deev ntawm cov menyuam yaus los ntawm cov pov thawj Catholic tau tham txog rov qab rau xyoo 1950. Hauv xyoo 2000s, qhov kev thuam nrov nrov tau tshwm sim, raws li nyob rau hauv 2015 tau ua yeeb yaj kiab. zaj duab xis "Nyob rau hauv lub tsom teeb".

Cov dab neeg zoo li no tsis txwv los ntawm lub sijhawm lossis thaj chaw ciam teb. Txij li xyoo 1991, ntau dua 200 tus tub ntxhais kawm qub los ntawm 67 New England (USA) cov tsev kawm ntawv ntiav tau liam cov kws qhia ntawv thiab cov neeg ua haujlwm ntawm kev thab plaub txog kev sib deev.

Vim li cas qhov no tshwm sim? Dab tsi yog qhov tsis ncaj ncees rau cov tsev kawm ntawv ntiav thiab cov zej zog kaw zoo li lawv?

Vim li cas thiaj muaj kev kub ntxhov hauv lub tsev kawm ntawv tshwj xeeb?

Qhov me me, cov neeg tseem ceeb thiab "tshwj xeeb" lub tsev kawm ntawv, cov kws qhia ntawv ze rau cov menyuam. Qhov kev ncua deb me me ntawm tus kws qhia ntawv thiab cov tub ntxhais kawm, feem ntau cov ciam teb raug tshem tawm. Ntawm ib sab, xws li tus cwj pwm ntawm cov kws qhia ntawv rau cov menyuam kawm ntawv qhuas cov niam txiv: lawv cov menyuam tsis yog qhia xwb, lawv raug saib xyuas. Yuav ua li cas los tsim kom muaj kev nyab xeeb nyob rau hauv cov tsev kawm tshwj xeeb uas cov kws qhia ntawv yog phooj ywg nrog cov tub ntxhais kawm, nyeem tsab xov xwm Tus txheej txheem kws kho mob Olga Prokhorova "Kev hlub ntawm tus kws qhia ntawv thiab cov tub ntxhais kawm yog incest".

Dab tsi yuav tsum ceeb toom cov niam txiv thaum xaiv tsev kawm?

Txhua tus niam txiv tsuas xav tau qhov zoo tshaj plaws rau lawv tus menyuam. Yog li ntawd, lawv tau npaj kom muab nyiaj zoo heev thiab tsim txom tus menyuam nrog kev npaj rau kev xeem dhau, yog tias tsuas yog npaj nws hauv lub tsev kawm ntawv kaw rau cov neeg tseem ceeb (cov tsev kawm ntawv tseem ceeb, lub voj voog, tsev kawm qib siab, thiab lwm yam). Nws zoo nkaus li tias kev kawm zoo dua nyob ntawd. Nws tsis tuaj yeem sib cav nrog qhov no: lub tsev kawm ntawv me me, cov kws qhia ntawv them nyiaj ntau dua rau txhua tus tub ntxhais kawm. Tab sis kuj muaj lwm sab ntawm lub npib.

Psychologist Lyudmila Petranovskaya pom cov pab pawg kaw ua haujlwm tsis zoo - cov pab pawg uas qee lub sijhawm tau txais ntau dua los ntawm lawv cov tswv cuab ntau dua li lawv muab rau lawv. Lub hom phiaj tseem ceeb ntawm cov pab pawg no yog los tiv thaiv lawv cov xwm txheej, rau lub hom phiaj ntawm kev tsim kev tsim txom (siv) tsim.

Petranovskaya txheeb xyuas cov cim qhia uas yuav tsum ceeb toom cov niam txiv. Yog tias koj pom tsawg kawg peb zaug, nws yog lub sijhawm los suab lub tswb.

Koj yuav tsum tau ceev faj:

… yog cov tswv cuab ntawm pab pawg (lub voj voog) txiav txim siab lawv tus kheej raug xaiv. Yog tias qhov kev xaiv no lav kev vam meej, kev ua haujlwm, kev yeej, kev sib txuas lus ntawm qib siab. Yog tias cov pab pawg muaj nws tus kheej txoj cai, thiab cov ib txwm tsis siv rau nws. “Kev xaiv yog qhov zoo nkauj thiab zoo siab. Qhov no tsim kev vam khom rau pab pawg. Tus neeg poob nws qhov kev thuam. Ib lub hauv paus raug tsim los rau kev sib ze thiab rau kev tsim kev tsim txom.

…yog cov thawj coj ntawm lub voj voog muaj kev ntseeg ntau dua li lawv tus kheej. Cov Thawj Coj, Cov Thawj Coj, Cov Txwj Laug, ntawm cov uas raug xaiv yog cov xaiv ntau dua uas paub txhua yam thiab ua txhua yam zoo. Lawv txoj cai yog indisputable, lawv yog cov ntse, coj tus kheej thiab selfless, muaj lus nug, tsis ntseeg thiab tsis txaus siab, koj yuav tsum mus rau lawv. - Cov tswv cuab ntawm pawg neeg raug tshem tawm los ntawm kev txiav txim siab. Lub subjectivity twb yuav luag pauv, tus nuv yog tsav tob.

…yog tias pab pawg ntseeg tias kev xaiv tsis yog tsuas yog qab ntxiag xwb, tab sis kuj nyuaj. Yog li ntawd, nws cov tswv cuab yuav tsum: ua hauj lwm hnyav, txhim kho tas li, mus txog qib tshiab, tsis saib xyuas tsev neeg thiab cov neeg koj hlub, nqis peev zog, nqis peev nyiaj, ceev lawv txoj siv tawv thiab tsis txhob yws (underline raws li qhov tsim nyog). - Feem ntau, kev ntsuam xyuas pib thaum nkag mus rau pab pawg: koj yuav tsum ua pov thawj koj qhov "kev xaiv". Qhov siab dua "tus nqi nkag", qhov qis dua qhov yuav tawm mus yam tsis muaj qhov tshwm sim loj. Cov tswv cuab pib npaj muab ntau tshaj qhov lawv tau txais thiab pab pawg.

… yog cov tswv cuab ntawm lub voj voog paub tseeb tias lawv khib. Lawv tsis nyiam peb thiab lawv xav rhuav peb pawg, vim: lawv khib, tsis nyiam tus ntse, tsis nyiam tus zoo nkauj, tsis nyiam ncaj ncees, tsis nyiam peb haiv neeg. , lawv tsis nyiam peb txoj kev ntseeg, lawv xav coj peb qhov chaw, lawv xav tau lub hwj chim tsis muaj kev cia siab, tab sis peb cuam tshuam. - Kev kaw thaum kawg, sab nraud - cov yeeb ncuab, cia peb sib sau ua ke, peb nyob raws li txoj cai ntawm kev ua tsov ua rog, dab tsi yog ciam teb sab hauv thiab tib neeg txoj cai.

… yog hais tias kev thuam ntawm lub voj voog yog txais tsis tau. Nws yog raws li: lus xaiv thiab speculation, exaggeration thiab distortion, ib tug distorted xaav ntawm cov neeg tsis txaus, lub txhob txwm dag ntawm cov neeg ntxub, ua tib zoo xav txog kev koom tes uas xav ua kom puas peb (underline raws li tsim nyog). - Lub hauv paus tsim nyog rau kev txav mus rau qhov chaw tom ntej, kev kaw tag nrho ntawm kev thuam thiab kev tawm tswv yim.

… yog cov uas tham txog teeb meem ntawm lub voj voog yog suav tias yog cov neeg ntxeev siab. Txhua yam teeb meem yuav tsum tau daws nyob rau hauv lub voj voog, thiab cov neeg uas "ntxuav cov ntaub pua chaw qias neeg tawm ntawm lub tsev pheeb suab" yog cov neeg ntxeev siab, cov neeg qhia, tsis muaj kev ris txiaj, tawm ntawm lawv lub siab, lawv xav txhawb lawv tus kheej, lawv yog cov menyuam roj hmab ntawm cov yeeb ncuab txhais tes. Muaj kev tsim txom thiab raug tshem tawm ntawm "tus neeg ntxeev siab" nrog kev koom tes ntawm tag nrho cov pab pawg. - Cov xwm txheej rau kev tsim txom tsis raug nplua tau raug tsim. Leej twg lub skating rink yuav dhau mus, thiab leej twg yuav raug yuam ua skating rink, yog qhov teeb meem ntawm lub caij nyoog.

Koj puas tseem xav xa koj tus menyuam mus rau ib pab pawg li no? Tom qab ntawd ntsuas qhov zoo thiab qhov tsis zoo. "Kev pheej hmoo tuaj yeem cuam tshuam txhua yam koj tau txais," hais ntxiv Lyudmila Petranovskaya. - Vim li cas kev kawm ci ntsa iab rau ib tus neeg uas muaj kev nyuaj siab ntev? Yog tias muaj ntau pluses, xav txog seb koj yuav tswj qhov xwm txheej li cas thiab koj yuav ua li cas rau lub sijhawm tseem ceeb. Saib xyuas qhov kev hloov pauv ntawm tus menyuam tus mob, sim ua kom nrawm ntawm qhov tshwm sim, sib txuas lus nrog cov tswv cuab sib txawv ntawm pab pawg, thaum tswj kev nyob deb.

Cov tswv cuab ntawm pab pawg txiav txim siab lawv tus kheej raug xaiv. Qhov kev xaiv no lav kev vam meej, kev ua haujlwm, kev yeej, kev sib txuas lus ntawm qib siab. Pab pawg muaj nws txoj cai.

Yog tias koj tus menyuam twb nyob hauv ib pab pawg, koj yuav ua li cas?

"Qhov tseem ceeb tshaj plaws yog tsis txhob thuam lossis thuam cov pab pawg thiab nws cov thawj coj," Lyudmila Petranovskaya txuas ntxiv. - Qhov ntau koj thuam, ntau tus menyuam txav deb ntawm koj thiab nkag mus rau hauv pab pawg. Sim ua kom muaj kev sib raug zoo los ntawm txhua txoj kev, txhawm rau khaws qhov sib koom ua ke koj thiab koj tus menyuam, dab tsi txaus siab rau koj ob leeg. Koj tus menyuam yuav xav tau koj txoj kev txhawb nqa thaum nws yuav tsum tau tawm ntawm pab pawg (thiab lub sijhawm no yuav los txog). Tus me nyuam yuav mob thiab yuav tiv taus. Yog tias koj xav tias ib yam dab tsi ua txhaum cai, npaj mus tua. Tsis txhob tso tseg li ntawd, txawm tus me nyuam twb muaj kev nyab xeeb lawm. Xav txog lwm cov menyuam yaus.

Yog hais tias koj yog ib tug tswv cuab ntawm pab pawg neeg no. Nce kev sib tham txog cov hauv paus ntsiab lus, kev cai, qhov tseem ceeb. Hais txog cov txheej txheem kev txiav txim siab pob tshab, sim ua qhov tseem ceeb, thiab hauv kev sib tham taw qhia thiab nug cov lus tsis txaus siab "peb ib txwm yog, yog vim li cas lawv tsis nyiam peb" cov duab. Tsis muaj "absorption yam tsis muaj kab." Tsis muaj "loyalty mus rau qhov kawg". Ua tib zoo saib xyuas cov thawj coj ntawm pab pawg - cov cim ntawm kev qhuas rau lawv pab pawg, tshwj xeeb tshaj yog tias lawv ua si nrog qhov no, txawm tias lawv ua txuj ua tus coj, yuav tsum ceeb toom.

Yog tias rau koj qhov no xaus rau hauv kev tsis sib haum xeeb thiab raug ntiab tawm ntawm pawg, tom qab ntawd sai dua qhov no tshwm sim, qhov zoo dua, qhov tsawg dua koj qhov kev poob.

Thiab ntxiv. Yog tias koj xav tias cov pab pawg tau ua haujlwm los yog ua haujlwm tsis raug cai los ntawm tus sociopath thiab tsis muaj sijhawm hloov qhov no, tawm tam sim ntawd. Yog tias koj muaj lub zog, thuam los ntawm sab nraud, pab cov neeg raug tsim txom thiab raug ntiab tawm. "

Yuav tiv thaiv menyuam li cas los ntawm ib pab pawg li no?

Cov lus nug tseem ceeb tshaj plaws rau txhua tus niam txiv yog yuav tiv thaiv tus menyuam li cas, yuav ua li cas tsis txhob saib xyuas?

"Tsis muaj daim ntawv qhia dav dav," nws hais. Ludmila Petranovskaya. - Nws yog tsis yooj yim sua kom tua tag nrho cov xib fwb txaus siab los ntawm tsev kawm ntawv thiab tsuas yog boring thiab boring, uas cov me nyuam yeej yuav tsis ncav cuag. Yog li ntawd, ua tib zoo saib xyuas qhov xwm txheej. Feem ntau, cov tsev kawm ntawv tseem ceeb thiab kaw yog kev ua si rau cov niam txiv. yog lawv xav kom tus me nyuam mus kawm ntawv xwb, yog lawv ntshai tsam nws yuav raug ntiab tawm vim muaj kev thuam los yog lub tsev kawm ntawv muaj koob meej yuav raug kaw. Tab sis qhov koj ua tsis tau yog txhuam cov lus ntawm tus me nyuam los yog cem nws. Ua raws li nws hais tiag. Cia siab rau nws los ntawm lub neej ntawd. Koj yuav tsum paub txog nws nyob rau hauv txhua rooj plaub, txawm tias nws tsuas yog fantasy. Raws li rau zaj dab neeg Yasenev, nyob rau hauv kuv lub tswv yim, nws yog nyuaj npaum li cas nyob rau hauv lub 57th, uas peb tab tom tham txog cov hluas hluas. Thiab qhov tshwm sim rau cov menyuam yaus thiab cov kws qhia ntawv tuaj yeem hnyav dua. "

« Txoj cai tseem ceeb: tsev kawm ntawv yuav tsum tsis txhob hloov tsev neeg, hais tias Psychotherapist Irina Mlodik. - Thaum qhov no tshwm sim, tsev neeg tsis ua tiav nws txoj haujlwm. Thiab tom qab ntawd koj yuav tsum tsis txhob cia siab tias yuav muaj kev sib raug zoo los yog kev ncaj ncees los ntawm tus menyuam. Tom qab hloov tsev neeg nrog lub tsev kawm ntawv, tus menyuam tau siv rau cov txheej txheem ntawm kev sib raug zoo thiab yuav hloov mus ua haujlwm tom qab, sim ua kom muaj kev tsis sib haum xeeb hauv pab pawg.

Txoj cai thib ob - tus me nyuam yuav tsum xav tias muaj kev tiv thaiv hauv tsev neeg, paub tias nws yuav muaj kev txhawb nqa, nkag siab, lees txais.

Qhov thib peb - txoj cai yuav tsum tau nce qib hauv tsev neeg: lub cev dawb huv. Koj yuav tsum tau teem caij kom meej meej ntawm tus kheej - koj tsis tuaj yeem ntxuav tus menyuam lossis puag thiab hnia yam tsis tau nws tso cai. Nco ntsoov yuav ua li cas nyob rau hauv tsev neeg sib sau ua ke, yog hais tias ib tug me nyuam dodges hnia nrog cov txheeb ze, lawv txaj muag nws: nws yog koj txiv ntxawm, hnia nws. Yog li nws tsis tuaj yeem hais categorically. Tus me nyuam muaj kev ywj pheej txiav txim siab rau leej twg hnia. Ntau yam nyob ntawm cov niam txiv - yog tias txhua yam nyob rau hauv kev txiav txim nrog lawv kev sib deev thiab kev sib deev lub neej thiab lawv tsis hloov mus rau tus menyuam, ces tus cwj pwm ntawm lub cev yuav raug.

Yuav ua li cas rau cov niam txiv yog tias tus me nyuam lees tias nws raug tsim txom?

Yog tias koj tus menyuam tuaj nrog kev lees paub ntawm kev thab plaub lossis kev tsim txom kev sib deev, tus yuam sij tsis yog los txhuam nws, tab sis mloog. Yuav ua li cas ntxiv yuav tsum tau ua thiab yuav ua li cas tsis txhob hnov ​​​​qab txog qhov xwm txheej zoo li no? Tus kws kho mob hlwb Irina Mlodik piav qhia.

Yuav ua li cas?

  1. Ua ntej thiab qhov tseem ceeb, tsawg kawg koj yuav tsum ntseeg tus menyuam. Tsis txhob hais - "Koj ua txhua yam." Tsis txhob luag nws, tsis txhob luag, tsis txhob thuam tus me nyuam, tsis txhob txaj muag, tsis txhob ntshai - "Dab tsi npau suav phem, koj yuav ua li cas (ua tau)"!

    Cov niam txiv uas ua li no kuj tuaj yeem nkag siab tau - ib tus neeg tsis tuaj yeem lees txais qhov tseeb txaus ntshai vim tias lawv hlub lawv tus menyuam ntau dhau lossis ntshai lees tias lawv tsis ua raws li niam txiv, ib tus neeg pom tus kws qhia ntawv yog tus neeg tsis muaj peev xwm ua phem, tom qab tag nrho, peb muaj ntau xyoo. qhov no yog qhia nyob rau hauv tsev kawm ntawv - tus kws qhia ntawv yog lub ntsiab thiab infallible cai, thiab peb tsis to taub hais tias qhov no tsuas yog ib tug neeg thiab nws muaj peev xwm muaj mob, muaj teeb meem. Nws yooj yim dua rau cov niam txiv zais, txhuam ib sab. Tab sis qhov no ua tsis tau.

  2. Tsis txhob tsis kam lees qhov teeb meem, txawm tias nws tsuas yog me nyuam txoj kev npau suav xwb. Xws li kev npau suav tsis yog tshwm sim xwb. Qhov no yog ib lub cim phem. Cov tsos mob uas tus menyuam muaj qee yam teeb meem zais hauv kev sib raug zoo nrog tus kws qhia lossis kev kawm, pab pawg. Yog hais tias ib tug me nyuam ua phem rau ib tug neeg, qhov no tej zaum yuav tsis txhais hais tias kev tsim txom kev sib deev, tab sis ib qho cim. Txawm li cas los xij, tus kws kho kev puas siab puas ntsws yuav txiav txim siab seb tus menyuam puas tsim los yog tsis.
  3. Nug tus menyuam tias nws nyob li cas, thaum twg, ntau npaum li cas, leej twg tau koom lossis pom nws, txawm tias nws tsuas yog nrog koj tus menyuam lossis tsis yog.
  4. Tam sim ntawd mus rau lub tsev kawm ntawv tswj hwm kom nkag siab.
  5. Tsis txhob ntshai tias los ntawm kev tshaj tawm rooj plaub, koj yuav ua rau tus menyuam raug mob. Tsis yog, koj tiv thaiv nws. Kev puas siab puas ntsws ntawm ib tug hluas yuav raug kev txom nyem ntau dua yog tias nws tus neeg ua txhaum tseem tsis raug nplua, thiab qhov kev ua txhaum nws tus kheej tseem tsis muaj npe. Yog tias koj tso koj tus menyuam cov lus, nws yuav xav tias txhua tus neeg laus muaj cai ua li no rau nws, tias nws lub cev tsis yog rau nws, leej twg tuaj yeem cuam tshuam nws.

Tsis hais txog qhov tshwm sim ntawm kev sib deev raug mob, lawv hnyav heev thiab tuaj yeem ua rau koj tus menyuam lub neej tsis zoo. Cov kev raug mob no tob heev thiab tuaj yeem tshwm sim tom qab ntawm kev nyuaj siab loj, siv yeeb tshuaj, haus cawv, tua tus kheej, nyuaj rau tus kheej thiab kev sib deev kev sib deev, tsis muaj peev xwm tsim tau ib khub niam txiv, tsev neeg, tsis muaj peev xwm hlub koj tus kheej thiab koj cov menyuam. Koj ua rau tus menyuam raug mob uas tsis tuaj yeem kho tsis tau tham txog qhov tshwm sim. Xav txog dab tsi tseem ceeb dua rau koj - tsis txhob poob lub tsev kawm ntawv muaj koob npe lossis tsis poob ib tug menyuam?

Cov ntawv nyeem: Dina Babaeva, Yulia Tarasenko, Marina Velikanova

Sau ntawv cia Ncua