Thaum twg nws yog lub sijhawm rau tus menyuam mus ntsib kws kho mob?

"Kuv ib txwm txhawj xeeb txog kuv tus ntxhais peb xyoos," lees tias Lev 38 xyoo. - Muaj ib zaug nws me ntsis hauv qib kindergarten, thiab kuv ntshai tias nws yog neeg phem. Thaum nws nchuav broccoli, kuv twb pom nws anorexic. Kuv tus poj niam thiab peb tus kws kho mob ib txwm ua rau kuv yooj yim. Tab sis qee zaum kuv xav tias nws tseem tsim nyog mus ntsib kws kho mob hlwb nrog nws. ”

Kev ua xyem xyav tsim txom Kristina 35 xyoo, uas txhawj xeeb txog nws tus tub muaj tsib xyoos: “Kuv pom tias peb tus menyuam ntxhov siab. Qhov no manifests nws tus kheej nyob rau hauv psychosomatics, tam sim no, piv txwv li, nws txhais tes thiab ob txhais ceg yog tev. Kuv qhia kuv tus kheej tias qhov no yuav dhau mus, tias nws tsis yog rau kuv hloov nws. Tab sis kuv raug kev txom nyem los ntawm kev xav tias nws raug kev txom nyem. "

Dab tsi yog txwv tsis pub nws mus ntsib tus kws kho mob hlwb? “Kuv ntshai hnov ​​tias nws yog kuv qhov txhaum. Yuav ua li cas yog tias kuv qhib Pandora lub thawv thiab nws hnyav dua ... Kuv poob kuv cov kabmob thiab tsis paub yuav ua li cas.

Qhov tsis meej pem no yog ib yam rau ntau tus niam txiv. Yuav vam khom li cas, yuav ua li cas paub qhov txawv ntawm qhov vim li cas rau theem ntawm kev loj hlob (piv txwv li, teeb meem ntawm kev sib cais los ntawm niam txiv), dab tsi qhia txog kev nyuaj me me (kev npau suav phem), thiab dab tsi yuav tsum muaj kev cuam tshuam los ntawm tus kws kho hlwb?

Thaum peb poob qhov pom tseeb ntawm qhov xwm txheej

Ib tug me nyuam yuav qhia tau tias muaj teeb meem los yog ua rau muaj teeb meem rau cov neeg hlub, tab sis qhov no tsis yog ib txwm txhais tau tias qhov teeb meem nyob hauv nws. Nws tsis yog qhov tsis yooj yim rau tus menyuam "ua haujlwm raws li cov tsos mob" - qhov no yog qhov systemic family psychotherapists xaiv cov neeg hauv tsev neeg uas ua haujlwm ntawm kev qhia txog teeb meem hauv tsev neeg.

"Nws tuaj yeem tshwm sim nws tus kheej hauv ntau hom," hais tias tus me nyuam puas siab puas ntsws Galiya Nigmetzhanova. Piv txwv li, ib tug me nyuam tom nws cov ntsia hlau. Los yog nws muaj teeb meem tsis txaus ntseeg: ua npaws me ntsis thaum sawv ntxov, hnoos. Los yog nws misbehaves: sib ntaus, nqa tawm cov khoom ua si.

Nyob rau hauv ib txoj kev los yog lwm yam, nyob ntawm seb nws muaj hnub nyoog, temperament thiab lwm yam yam ntxwv, nws sim - unconsciously, ntawm chav kawm - "kua nplaum" kev sib raug zoo ntawm nws niam nws txiv, vim hais tias nws xav tau ob leeg ntawm lawv. Kev txhawj xeeb txog tus menyuam tuaj yeem coj lawv los ua ke. Cia lawv sib cav rau ib teev vim nws, nws tseem ceeb dua rau nws tias lawv tau ua ke rau lub sijhawm no.

Kev xa mus rau tus kws kho mob hlwb tso cai rau koj nkag siab zoo dua qhov xwm txheej thiab, yog tias tsim nyog, pib tsev neeg, kev sib yuav, tus kheej lossis kev kho menyuam yaus.

Galiya Nigmetzhanova hais tias "Kev ua haujlwm txawm tias ib tus neeg laus tuaj yeem ua tau zoo heev," - Thiab thaum qhov kev hloov pauv zoo pib, tus niam txiv thib ob qee zaum tuaj rau kev txais tos, uas yav dhau los "tsis muaj sijhawm." Tom qab qee lub sij hawm, koj nug: tus me nyuam nyob li cas, nws puas tom nws cov ntsia hlau? "Tsis yog, txhua yam zoo."

Tab sis peb yuav tsum nco ntsoov tias cov teeb meem sib txawv tuaj yeem muab zais tom qab tib cov tsos mob. Cia peb ua piv txwv: ib tug me nyuam muaj tsib xyoos ua tsis zoo txhua hmo ua ntej yuav mus pw. Qhov no yuav qhia txog nws tus kheej cov teeb meem: ntshai qhov tsaus ntuj, teeb meem hauv kindergarten.

Los yog tej zaum nws yog vim muaj kev tsis sib haum xeeb: leej niam hais kom nws mus pw ntxov, txawm tias nws tsis muaj sijhawm ua luam dej, thiab leej txiv xav kom nws ua ib qho kev cai dab qhuas ua ntej yuav mus pw, thiab yog li ntawd, yav tsaus ntuj. ua tawg. Nws nyuaj rau cov niam txiv to taub yog vim li cas.

"Kuv tsis xav tias nws nyuaj heev los ua niam," "Kuv tsis xav tias nws nyuaj npaum li cas los ua niam," "Kuv tsis xav tias nws nyuaj npaum li cas los ua niam," "Kuv tsis xav tias nws nyuaj npaum li cas los ua niam," "Kuv tsis xav tias nws nyuaj heev rau kev ua niam," "Kuv tsis xav tias nws nyuaj heev rau kev ua niam," Polina, 30 xyoo lees. "Kuv xav ua siab mos siab muag thiab ua siab mos siab muag, tab sis muaj peev xwm tsim ib thaj tsam. Nrog koj tus me nyuam, tab sis tsis txhob txwv nws ... Kuv nyeem ntau yam txog kev ua niam txiv, mus rau kev qhuab qhia, tab sis tseem kuv pom tsis tau dhau kuv lub qhov ntswg.

Nws tsis yog qhov nyuaj rau cov niam txiv xav tias poob rau hauv hiav txwv ntawm cov lus qhia tsis sib haum xeeb. "Cov ntaub ntawv tshaj tawm, tab sis kuj tsis paub," raws li Patrick Delaroche, tus kws saib xyuas kev puas siab puas ntsws thiab tus kws kho mob menyuam yaus, qhia lawv.

Peb ua li cas rau peb qhov kev txhawj xeeb rau peb cov menyuam? Mus rau kev sab laj nrog tus kws kho mob puas siab puas ntsws, hais tias Galiya Nigmetzhanova thiab piav qhia vim li cas: "Yog tias kev ntxhov siab nyob hauv niam txiv lub siab, nws yuav cuam tshuam nws txoj kev sib raug zoo nrog tus menyuam, thiab nrog nws tus khub ib yam nkaus. Peb yuav tsum paub seb nws qhov chaw yog dab tsi. Nws tsis tas yuav yog menyuam yaus, nws tuaj yeem yog nws tsis txaus siab rau nws txoj kev sib yuav lossis nws tus kheej raug mob thaum yau. »

Thaum peb tsis to taub peb tus menyuam

"Kuv tus tub mus rau tus kws kho mob hlwb thaum muaj hnub nyoog 11 txog 13 xyoos," Svetlana muaj hnub nyoog 40 xyoo rov qab los. - Thaum xub thawj kuv xav tias txhaum: ua li cas kuv them tus neeg txawv teb chaws saib xyuas kuv tus tub?! Muaj kev xav tias kuv txo kuv lub luag haujlwm, tias kuv yog niam tsis muaj txiaj ntsig.

Tab sis yuav ua li cas yog tias kuv tsis nkag siab kuv tus menyuam? Sij hawm dhau mus, kuv tau tswj kom tso tseg cov lus thov rau omnipotence. Kuv txaus siab heev uas kuv tau tswj hwm los ua tus thawj tswj hwm. "

Ntau ntawm peb tau nres los ntawm kev tsis ntseeg: thov kev pab, zoo li peb, txhais tau tias kos npe tias peb tsis tuaj yeem tiv nrog niam txiv lub luag haujlwm. "Xav txog tej yam: lub pob zeb thaiv peb txoj kev, thiab peb tab tom tos kom nws mus rau qhov chaw," Galiya Nigmetzhanova hais.

- Ntau tus nyob zoo li no, khov, "tsis pom" qhov teeb meem, nyob rau hauv kev cia siab tias nws yuav daws nws tus kheej. Tab sis yog tias peb paub tias peb muaj "pob zeb" nyob rau hauv pem hauv ntej ntawm peb, ces peb muaj peev xwm tshem tawm txoj kev rau peb tus kheej.

Galiya Nigmetzhanova hais tias "Cov niam txiv tsis to taub cov menyuam yaus thaum lawv qaug zog - ntau heev kom lawv tsis tau npaj qhib rau ib yam tshiab ntawm tus menyuam, mloog nws, tiv thaiv nws cov teeb meem," Galiya Nigmetzhanova hais. - Tus kws tshaj lij yuav pab koj pom dab tsi ua rau qaug zog thiab yuav ua li cas ntxiv koj cov peev txheej. Tus kws kho kev puas siab puas ntsws kuj ua tus neeg txhais lus, pab cov niam txiv thiab cov me nyuam hnov ​​ib leeg. "

Tsis tas li ntawd, tus menyuam yuav tau ntsib "kev xav tau yooj yim tham nrog lwm tus neeg sab nraud, tab sis tsis yog kev thuam rau niam txiv," Patrick Delaroche ntxiv. Yog li ntawd, tsis txhob lash tawm ntawm tus menyuam nrog cov lus nug thaum nws tawm ntawm qhov kev sib tham.

Rau yim-xyoo-laus Gleb, uas muaj ib tug kwv tij ntxaib, nws yog ib qho tseem ceeb uas nws yuav tsum raug xam tias yog ib tug neeg txawv. Qhov no tau nkag siab los ntawm 36-xyoo-laus Veronica, uas xav tsis thoob thaum nws tus tub txhim kho sai npaum li cas. Muaj ib zaug, Gleb tau npau taws lossis tu siab, tsis txaus siab rau txhua yam - tab sis tom qab thawj zaug kev sib tham, nws tus tub ntxim hlub, siab zoo, txawj ntse rov qab los rau nws.

Thaum cov neeg nyob ib puag ncig koj suab lub tswb

Cov niam txiv, tsis khoom nrog lawv tus kheej kev txhawj xeeb, tsis txhob hnov ​​​​qab tias tus menyuam tsis tshua muaj kev zoo siab, saib xyuas, ua haujlwm. Patrick Delaroche ceeb toom tias "Nws tsim nyog mloog yog tias tus kws qhia ntawv, tus kws saib xyuas neeg mob hauv tsev kawm ntawv, tus kws qhia ntawv, tus kws kho mob tau suab lub tswb ... Tsis tas yuav npaj qhov xwm txheej, tab sis koj yuav tsum tsis txhob kwv yees cov cim no," ceeb toom Patrick Delaroche.

Nov yog qhov Natalia thawj zaug tuaj ntsib nrog nws tus tub muaj plaub xyoos: “Tus kws qhia ntawv hais tias nws quaj txhua lub sijhawm. Tus kws kho kev puas siab puas ntsws tau pab kuv paub tias tom qab kuv sib nrauj, peb tau sib raug zoo nrog ib leeg. Nws kuj tau muab tawm tias nws tsis quaj "txhua lub sijhawm", tab sis tsuas yog nyob rau lub lis piam thaum nws mus rau nws txiv.

Ivan tseem npau taws rau tus kws qhia ntawv uas hu ua Zhanna hyperactive, "Thiab tag nrho vim hais tias tus ntxhais, koj pom, yuav tsum tau zaum ntawm lub ces kaum, thaum cov tub hluas muaj peev xwm khiav ib ncig, thiab qhov zoo!"

Galiya Nigmetzhanova qhia kom tsis txhob ntshai thiab tsis txhob sawv hauv qhov teeb meem tom qab hnov ​​​​qhov kev tshuaj xyuas tsis zoo txog tus menyuam, tab sis ua ntej ntawm tag nrho cov, calmly thiab tus phooj ywg piav qhia tag nrho cov ntsiab lus. Yog hais tias, piv txwv li, ib tug me nyuam tau mus rau hauv kev sib ntaus sib tua hauv tsev kawm ntawv, nrhiav seb leej twg yog kev sib ntaus nrog tus me nyuam thiab nws yog dab tsi, leej twg nyob ib puag ncig, hom kev sib raug zoo hauv chav kawm tag nrho.

Qhov no yuav pab koj nkag siab tias vim li cas koj tus menyuam coj tus cwj pwm zoo li lawv tau ua. “Tej zaum nws muaj teeb meem hauv kev sib raug zoo nrog ib tus neeg, lossis tej zaum nws tau teb rau kev thab plaub li ntawd. Ua ntej yuav nqis tes ua, tag nrho daim duab yuav tsum tau muab tshem tawm. "

Thaum peb pom kev hloov pauv loj heev

Tsis muaj phooj ywg lossis koom nrog kev thab plaub, txawm tias koj tus menyuam raug thab plaub lossis thab lwm tus, qhia txog kev sib raug zoo. Yog hais tias ib tug hluas tsis muaj nuj nqis rau nws tus kheej txaus, tsis muaj kev ntseeg siab rau nws tus kheej, ntxhov siab heev, koj yuav tsum tau xyuam xim rau qhov no. Tsis tas li ntawd, ib tug me nyuam mloog lus ntau dhau nrog tus cwj pwm tsis zoo kuj tuaj yeem ua rau tsis zoo.

Nws hloov tawm tias txhua yam tuaj yeem yog vim li cas hu rau tus kws kho hlwb? "Tsis muaj daim ntawv teev npe yuav tag nrho, yog li kev qhia txog kev puas siab puas ntsws tsis sib haum. Ntxiv mus, cov menyuam yaus qee zaum muaj qee qhov teeb meem sai sai los ntawm lwm tus, "said Patrick Delaroche.

Yog li koj yuav txiav txim siab li cas yog tias koj yuav tsum mus rau qhov teem caij? Galiya Nigmetzhanova muab cov lus teb luv luv: "Cov niam txiv ntawm tus cwj pwm ntawm tus menyuam yuav tsum tau ceeb toom los ntawm qhov "Nag hmo" tsis muaj, tab sis tau tshwm sim hnub no, uas yog, muaj kev hloov pauv loj heev. Piv txwv li, ib tug hluas nkauj yeej ib txwm zoo siab, thiab dheev nws lub siab xav tau hloov dramatically, nws tsis zoo, cuam tantrums.

Los yog vice versa, tus me nyuam tsis muaj kev sib cav - thiab dheev pib sib ntaus nrog txhua tus. Nws tsis muaj teeb meem yog tias cov kev hloov pauv no yog qhov phem dua lossis zoo li qhov zoo dua, qhov tseem ceeb tshaj plaws yog tias lawv tau npaj txhij txog, tsis muaj kev cia siab. " "Thiab cia peb tsis txhob hnov ​​​​qab enuresis, npau suav phem dua ..." ntxiv Patrick Delaroche.

Thiab ib tug me nyuam uas tau tso tseg tsis koom nrog feem ntau xav tau kev pab los ntawm tus kws tshaj lij. Thiab tau kawg, koj yuav tsum tau ntsib tus menyuam ib nrab yog tias nws tus kheej thov mus ntsib tus kws tshaj lij, uas feem ntau tshwm sim tom qab 12-13 xyoo.

"Txawm hais tias cov niam txiv tsis txhawj xeeb txog ib yam dab tsi, los nrog tus menyuam mus rau tus kws kho hlwb yog kev tiv thaiv zoo," Galiya Nigmetzhanova sau tseg. "Qhov no yog ib kauj ruam tseem ceeb rau kev txhim kho lub neej zoo rau tus menyuam thiab koj tus kheej."