txheem
Koj puas thuam koj tus txij nkawm, tsis tshua pom nws siv zog rau kev zoo ntawm tsev neeg thiab tsis tau sib deev ntev? Tom qab ntawd nws yog lub sijhawm rau koj lees paub tias koj txoj kev sib yuav tau tawg. Psychotherapist Crystal Woodbridge txheeb xyuas ntau lub cim qhia los ntawm qhov teeb meem ntawm ob peb tus neeg tuaj yeem txheeb xyuas tau. Yog tias cov teeb meem no tsis daws, lawv tuaj yeem ua rau kev sib nrauj.
Cov teeb meem tshwm sim los ntawm cov xwm txheej ntxhov siab - hloov txoj haujlwm, txav mus los, kev nyob nruj, ntxiv rau tsev neeg - yog qhov yooj yim los daws. Tab sis yog tias lawv tsis quav ntsej, lawv yuav ua rau muaj teeb meem loj dua los ntawm cov npe hauv qab no. Cov cim no tsis yog kab lus rau kev sib nrauj. Tsuav nej ob leeg tsom ntsoov rau kev tswj kev sib raug zoo, muaj kev cia siab.
1. Tsis muaj kev sib haum xeeb hauv kev sib deev
Kev sib deev tsis tshua muaj tsis yog vim li cas rau kev sib nrauj. Kev phom sij tsis sib haum ntawm kev xav tau. Yog tias koj xav tau kev sib deev ntau dua lossis tsawg dua koj tus khub, teeb meem tshwm sim. Hauv lwm qhov xwm txheej, nws tsis muaj teeb meem dab tsi lwm tus ua lossis tsis ua. Qhov tseem ceeb yog koj thiab koj tus khub zoo siab. Yog tias tsis muaj kev puas siab puas ntsws lossis kev kho mob contraindications nyob rau hauv ob peb, qhov tsis muaj kev sib deev feem ntau qhia txog teeb meem tob hauv kev sib raug zoo.
2. Koj tsis tshua tau ua ke
Hnub nyob rau yav tsaus ntuj yog ib qho kev xaiv ntawm qhov kev zov me nyuam. Tsuas yog vim koj tsis hnub tsis tau txhais hais tias kev sib raug zoo yog doomed. Txawm li cas los xij, kev siv sijhawm ua ke yog qhov tseem ceeb. Koj tuaj yeem mus taug kev, saib yeeb yaj kiab lossis ua noj ua ke. Los ntawm qhov no koj hais rau koj tus txij nkawm: "Koj tseem ceeb rau kuv." Txwv tsis pub, koj pheej hmoo khiav tawm ntawm ib leeg. Yog tias koj tsis siv sijhawm ua ke, koj tsis paub tias yuav ua li cas nrog koj tus khub. Koj kawg poob qhov kev xav nyob ze uas ua rau koj ob peb txoj kev hlub.
3. Tsis txhob ua tsaug rau koj tus khub
Kev ris txiaj rau ib leeg thiab kev ris txiaj yog qhov tseem ceeb sib npaug. Yog tias cov khoom zoo li no ploj mus lossis tsis nyob ntawd, koj yuav muaj teeb meem loj. Nws tsis yog qhov loj gestures uas tseem ceeb, tab sis qhov me me txhua hnub tokens. Qhia rau koj tus txiv, "Kuv txaus siab rau koj ua haujlwm hnyav heev rau tsev neeg," lossis tsuas yog ua rau nws khob tshuaj yej.
Kev thuam tsis tu ncua los ntawm tus khub yog pom tias yog kev thuam ntawm tus kheej
Psychologists ntawm Gottman lub koom haum uas tshwj xeeb hauv kev kho cov khub niam txiv tau txheeb xyuas qhov "4 Horsemen ntawm Apocalypse" uas yog ib qho tseem ceeb kom paub txog. Psychologists xyuam xim rau cov teeb meem no thaum kho, lawv yog ib qho zoo rau cov khub niam txiv uas muaj teeb meem loj. Yuav kom kov yeej cov teeb meem no, cov khub niam txiv yuav tsum lees paub lawv thiab ua haujlwm kom kov yeej lawv.
4. thuam koj tus khub
Kev thuam tsis tu ncua los ntawm tus khub yog pom tias yog kev thuam ntawm tus kheej. Nyob rau tib lub sijhawm, qhov no ua rau muaj kev chim siab thiab kev chim siab.
5. Qhia saib tsis taus koj tus khub
Kev daws qhov teeb meem no nyuaj, tab sis ua tau. Koj yuav tsum txheeb xyuas nws, lees paub nws, thiab npaj ua haujlwm rau nws. Yog hais tias ib tug ntawm cov neeg koom tes lossi saib rau lwm tus, tsis coj mus rau hauv tus account nws lub tswv yim, scoffs, sarcastically thiab cia mus barbs, qhov thib ob pib xav tias tsis tsim nyog. Kev thuam feem ntau ua rau poob kev hwm.
6. Tsis txhob lees koj qhov yuam kev
Yog tias cov koom tes tsis tuaj yeem pom zoo vim tias ib lossis ob qho tib si hloov mus rau kev tiv thaiv tus cwj pwm, qhov no yog qhov teeb meem. Koj yuav tsis mloog ib leeg thiab thaum kawg poob kev sib koom siab. Kev sib txuas lus yog tus yuam sij rau kev ua haujlwm los ntawm txhua yam teeb meem kev sib raug zoo. Kev tiv thaiv tus cwj pwm coj mus rau kev tshawb nrhiav cov neeg txhaum. Txhua tus raug yuam kom tiv thaiv lawv tus kheej nrog kev tawm tsam: "Koj tau ua qhov no" - "Yog, tab sis koj ua li ntawd." Koj chim siab, thiab kev sib tham tig mus rau hauv kev sib ntaus sib tua.
Peb tsis xav hnov qhov lawv qhia peb vim peb ntshai lees qhov teeb meem.
Koj tsis khoom tiv thaiv koj tus kheej kom koj tsis nco qab daws qhov teeb meem tiag tiag. Txhawm rau tawm ntawm lub voj voog vicious, koj yuav tsum nres, saib qhov xwm txheej ntawm sab, muab qee qhov chaw thiab sijhawm los hais tawm thiab mloog.
7. Tsis quav ntsej teeb meem
Ib tug ntawm cov neeg koom tes tsiv tawm, tsis kam tham nrog tus thib ob thiab tsis cia qhov teeb meem yuav daws tau. Peb feem ntau tsis xav hnov tej lus uas tau hais rau peb vim peb ntshai tsis lees paub qhov teeb meem, hnov qhov tseeb, lossis peb ntshai peb yuav tsis muaj peev xwm daws tau. Nyob rau tib lub sij hawm, tus khub thib ob yog desperately sim tham. Tej zaum nws kuj yuav ua rau muaj kev sib ntaus kom tau tus thawj los teb. Yog li ntawd, tib neeg pom lawv tus kheej nyob rau hauv ib qho chaw txaus ntshai. Ib tug neeg uas tsis quav ntsej yuav ntshai ntawm kev tsis sib haum xeeb, tsuas yog kom tsis txhob ua rau muaj kev tawm tsam tshiab. Tom qab ntawd, kev cia siab rau kev rov qab los ntawm kev sib raug zoo tuag.
Source: Tus Saib Xyuas